Where are all the arcades gone?


Misery loves company, and now failing arcades and failing movie  often theaters live together.

I grew up in a different time. I sometimes ponder on how different it was, in general. In many respects I kinda have to tip my hat and admit that this era is better in a lot of ways. It´s hard to resist the urge to fall into unnecessary nostalgia for things that where merely the perspective of a wide eyed young one, though.

The pleasures of the young. For me entertainment didn´t have to be groundbreaking, because I had no ground yet. Some of the better memories I have is of arcades.

Even as I struggle to remember who was my 4rth grade teacher and what she looked like, my mind can take me back pretty quickly to where I was, when I first saw and played Street Fighter 2 on an old cafetin as my dad bought breakfast and a stack of Muy Interesatante magazines. I remember seeing Time Killers and how that shitty game caught my imagination with it´s gruesome eviscerations(I distinctly recall I believed the game's Rancid and Thug where actually Street Fighter's Guile and Blanka).  I don´t remember my father´s birthdate from memory, but I sure remember when I first walked into a skull ridden arcade in San Juan, now long gone. I can still feel how nervous my dad was at this place.

I loved arcades. There used to be 2 on our biggest mall, Plaza las Americas. One in the Food Court, one in the  exit. Pretty much every mall had at least 1, and always with new, exciting, colorful games.

But the arcade era is over. Which malls still do have Arcades, tend to have mostly old games. It's common belief that Arcades where eventually beaten by their more convenient cousins, home consoles. I mean, why play a game for a quarter, when you can own it for 80? Console graphics eventually reached and surpassed Arcades. It's obvious that arcades couldnt compete with that.

Or is it obvious? To truly understand what happened to arcades, you need to understand how Arcades as a business work.

When you see an Arcade  cabinet in a Stop and Play or a dingy bar, that machine doesn't belong to the place in question. The machine is rented. The owners of the machine rent it to the  owners of the place, and they in place need to make enough money from it each month to offset the cost of having the machine, and obviously any taxes and state licenses involved in renting a cabinet.

Let's start really basic. Let's say Pacman. A Sega Genesis could run it. An NES could run it. Statistically speaking, the machine you are reading this on can run Pacman. How much do you think it costs you a month to have a Pacman Arcade? If your answer is thousands of dollars, then yes, that's about the answer. A firm specializing in Arcades say your arcadey budget for a small Arcade place should be 250,000, and a cool million if you want any serious arcading. And remember, this is during the time when Arcades are DEAD.

Now, far be it from me to question how these arcade renters run their biz, but  here´s what I'm thinking. You buy a 400 dollar PC, a 300 dollar monitor, 100 + USB coin up a 100 dollar sound system, some wood, and it's an arcade cabinet. You need only put some games on it, which is not that hard to do anymore, and it's done. You could permanently sell it to a small business for 2000, and occasionally sell them new games when the old ones lose their luster. It could be a whole new thing.

We could have like "Steam Arcade". Like, its the same as Steam, in that there's a bunch of games available to buy, only these games are meant for this cheaper arcade systems. The arcade owner doesn't have to have a huge cabinet sent from abroad just to test if people would play so and so game, they'd just download it and trial it. If it's a moneymaker the arcade owner, he can do go on and buy the full version. It doesn't have to be a buy, it can be a lease.

The games could be as simple as a Flappy Bird Knock Off, or as complex as some kind of action adventure with saves and stuff. Again, your average piece of crap netbook can probaly run games as  far back as N64.

But no. It costs a  a quarter of a million bucks to set up a handful of fighting games from before the Obama Administration, and God help you if you run it without getting your papers in order first. But then there's repairs, electricity costs, and what have you. And since it costs so much, those that even want to do it cant really stray away from the familiar faces, because it costs a bunch of money and you don't want to risk your entire business on an unproven sort.


It's easy to fall prey to the thinking that Arcades are something that just stopped being a functional business because it wasn't necessary in a new era of committed gamers who wanted to own their games. I supposed that's partly true. But the problem I think, was exacerbated by high prices to those who rented arcades, which, during crunch time, kept more arcades off the streets, and as a consequence, kept more arcade games from being developed, which created a circle of stagnation.

You know what they put in Plaza las Americas where the food court arcade used to be? A wall. And that's what infuriates me the most. It could be a place where the owners make money, kids get together and appreciate video games, old classics persist and new classics flourish. It could be a place. But now it's not even been replaced by something more advanced. It's just been replaced by apathetic mortar, indifferent to potential and growth. Feeding no one. Bringing no joy.



I mean, maybe it's just the nostalgia again. Maybe Arcades do should go away forever. Maybe they don't belong in this millenium. Maybe what we need is more blank walls. What do you think?

Horrendous Theory: Neil Blomkamp is a Chrononaut

But the tiiigers come at niiiiiight....


Neil Blomkamp just revealed that his Alien movie has been put on hold, which should be no surprise, since  Prometheus 2: Alien Boogaloo has recently been renamed Alien: Paradise Lost, and they probably don't want an Alien's Prequel's Sequel and an Aliens' Sequel cannibalizing each other.

I think it's rather sad, because while I don't think Prometheus was all that bad, I do would rather have  Blomkamp hammering in obvious metaphor's while also providing great visuals and good characters, than a second Prometheus full of "Bad Choices: IN SPAAAAAACE"
Hey, this one also had a black goo that did whatever the plot needed it to, but you know what else it had? Likeable characters you could understand.

I really do like Blomkamp. But I have a theory why a person in my age bracket would.

Blomkamp's sensibilities land squarely in the 80's.  Extreme violence and aliens and robots. 80's stuff. Neil Blompkamp's movies have been so far Elysium, Alien Nation, and a Johnny 5-Robocop mashup.  It's fair to say it's a fairly unique vision, at least compared to the actual Robocop remake, anyway. I suspect if Neil Blomkamp got ACTUAL Robocop, his take on it would be Robocop.

The concerns of his movies are also a bit of a throwback. While as a South African I'm sure  the Apartheid hits pretty close to home, It's not exactly topical in the 21rst Century. Don't missunderstand me, it's a great thing that he would use it as a refference point, but it's still.

The only thing Neil Blomkamp tackled is slasher movies, the paranormal, 80's macho heroes and...time travel...

...Because he IS a TIME TRAVELER!...

Think about it. He's got an idea for Aliens that's basically Alien 3, discarding  Alien to the third power and Alien Ressurection like they didn't happen. Because to him, they didn't happen. That's why he's making analogies to the Apartheid so good. Because to him that was 5 years ago.

Think about it, one minute you're a Hollywood hopeful with a script pitch for ALien 3(which there where alot of) and next thing you know, you're falling down a time vortex.

I'm on to you, B-K! Either way, your secret is safe with me, and I'm looking to your next throwback mash up. Is it Exorcist meets Rambo? Is it Ghost busters meets  Beetle juice? Is it Alien meets Predator? Whatever, it'd be more original than a remake of Point Break.

Some days you just want to have it both ways...

Puma Air!

6 best spiritual sequel games to beloved franchises




Original Franchise, don't steal!


Enough about hoping about Spiritual Sequels to classics! After all, don't we have enough with what we have? Well, uh... no.

But still! It's time to look at those games that are only a couple of names and wigs away from being part of a huge copyright infringement lawsuit. After all,  not being able to work on an IP is a small obstacle for those who really, really want to do certain games.


Timesplitters is the better Perfect Dark follow up.

We all wanted the Rare-Microsoft Alliance to work. Rare seemed like the kind of studio that did great games in spite of Nintendo and not because of it.Sadly, it didn't, and Rare now is merely a familiar husk filled with I don't know.

It did not take long for new studios based on former Rare employees to start cropping up, which included Platinum games, who are mostly reknown for their Time Splitter series, and obvious Golden Eye/Perfect Dark send up with a time travel twist.


 Blinx the Cat is Sonic's distant cousin.

Well, sort of. The creator of Sonic is also the creator of Blinx, a time manipulating cat with a vacuum. While the similarites might end with them both being platformer animals, Blinx does share some of Sonics tude.

However, Blinx instead trades the trademark speed for a time manipulating gimmick. However, his Xbox exclusivity wound up being his undoing, as  despite some strong initial efforst now often overlooked to make the console home to more than a 13+ audience, the console was never the place for fuzzy wuzzy plataformer heroes. Blinx had two games, though, which is one more than most animal plataformers and also one more than Sudeki,  Voodoo Vince, Brute Force, Kung Fu Chaos...

King of Fighters is the REAL Street Fighter 2.

At some point after Street Fighter 1's hilariously catastrophic results, Capcom and it's creator decided to do a parting of the ways. I'm not gonna say it's because he made a game that people injure themselves with...but it's possible.

Street Fighter man wound up working on SNK and helping make...King of Fighters! Dun, dun DUUUUN!

Yes, KOF did borrow heavilly from what worked for Street Fighter 2, but at the same time added some things of it's own. Often considered rival franchises, they did wind up making nice, nice for a couple of crossover games at the turn of the millenium. Still, where Street Fighter found new life with SF 4, and Mortal Kombat had it's "comeback" with Mortal Kombat: Days of Future Past,  and Even Killer Instinct managed to clamber out of wishlists and into relevancy, King of Fighters has managed to skid in place for the better part of a decade. Maybe next Millenium, Ryo.

Human Killing Machine is the bad sequel to Street Fighter nobody wanted

Again, nobody liked Street Fighter Pelao, but apparently it was enough of a hit to deserve a follow up. Capcom immediately got on that eventually producing the classic...Final Fight.

However, a company that helped port SF to home computers called Tiertex, had a vision for a new Street Fighter, built on their engine for Street Fighter 1. They pitched it to Capcom as a sequel.

Capcom passed, and, say what you will about Capcom, but damn it when they get it right they get it right. THIS was going to be Street Fighter 2.

The game's character's make  SF2's cast of national stereotypes look like a sensitively appealing group. The Swedish fighters where prostitutes, for crap's sake.

Face it, in terms of "German Stereotypes", Hans the Schnitzel Maker here is the least bad possibility.

Marathon is Halo is Marathon
If you're like me, you don't need to see Halo ever again.
Before Microsoft came along, Bungie had made a name for itself with Marathon, a Doom Clone (shut up, I'm still young!)

While them both being first person shooters might seem like a bit of a loose connection, there's more than that. Both share the idea of a gun that can be charged for a bigger blast, among other ideas such as Forge, a level creator, and AIs on ship that had potential to go rogue.

In fact, before Bungie and Microsoft split, the threads between Haley and Mara could almost be seen visible in terms of the story and  symbology. Sadly, this is not to be anymore.



Star Soldier/Gladiator is the Star Wars game that never was.
Even the "Episode" Gimmick.
One day, Lucas Arts and Capcom where going to make a Star Wars fighitng game together. This makes sense, see, because Capcom was tops at the genre, and Lucas Arts was the best at having the rights to Star Wars. It was going to be super fun.

But at some point, Lucas Arts backed away from the deal, leaving Capcom with a partly done game about people wacking each other with Laser Swords that  they couldn't sell.

So, they changed a name here, a design there, barely anything here and voila! Star Soldier was born! While less Street Fighter with lasers and more  a poor man's Soul Edge in space, it's a fine couple of games, now mostly known because it's Ryu, Hayato, made an appearance in MVC2.

Lucas Arts, meanwhile, got some people and make Star Wars: Masters of Terras Kasi, which only wishes we could say it's a mediocre game.

Defacing art


You can't mess with a classic.

Dear Makers of The Third Generation Ninja Turtles Cartoon.

It's been a while, eh? I've been quietly observing your progress from the shadows. Not the show itself, I don't get that channel, but your progress ever further into TMNT lore.

You see, I've tasted at least a bit from most of the major incarnations of the franchise. The 80's show remains a highly influential part of my childhood, but watching them now does give me a bit of the "what where you thinkings". It's a bit too silly for me, or at least it was as of the late 2ks.

I watched the 2K3 show and thought it was alright, you know. Trying a little too hard to be edgy, but overall good, and probably my favorite Mike of all.

I have been looking forward to a particular character's return ever since I first saw her as a kid. And as an adult, I went back to that episode, to the character's one significant appearance, and it did not give me the "What where you thinkings". This character was even better. Now I saw a whole lot of potential in her. And her name was Mona Lisa.


Uh...to the right of Raph

Originally a female Turtle, the idea was torpedoed to hell by the TMNT creators. Creators can be fickle, even those who could be the sheer embodyment of "selling out".  "Female Turtle? That's Lazy! This is going to ruin everything" they said, while okaying a horrible live action singing tour and  for the Turtles to appear in pasta cans.

Not fully unwilling to scrape the idea, the show's people  adjusted a few elements and turned Mona Lisa into a female liz...you know what, I think you guys probably know all this. I mean, why wouldn't you be versed in this backstory? It's your job, you know?

The point is, Mona Lisa had a lot of potential, in my eyes. While other characters on the show where born and died(not litterally) on their very first episode, Mona Lisa was already doing stuff before  she ran into the Turtles.

A former college student, Mona Lisa (I presume she was called that  before she became NOT a female Ninja Turtle) was kidnapped by an evil pirate, and while thwarting him, she fell into a bunch of mutative goop that turned her into an anthropomorphic amalgam lizard. Since then, she'd been looking for the guy who made her this way AND a way to unlizard herself.

If only The 80's cartoon had had more room for long form storytelling, they could have done a lot more with this character, a reluctant hero on a quest for vengeance. But nothing more came out of it, presumably because what had been planned had been planned for Mona Lisa the Turtle, and not Mona Lisa, the Lovely Lady Lizard that Eastman and Laird barely tolerated. For 20 something years I awaited. 2k3 was not interesting in retreading a lot of the 80's lore, and I respected that.

Then your show came along, possitively magnetized towards theh 80's show. And seeing what you did with Rahzar, Bebop and Rocksteady,  and Slash, I thought you would eventually finally fullfil the potential in Mona Lisa. So now she's been announced. What's it gonna be?

Honestly, what the fuck is this shit?
Oh. Mona Lisa is an ALIEN Salamander. So uh... I guess the story's not gonna be in any way similar to the...80's story.  And she looks uh, you know...

I was expecting something else, ok? I'm sure this will work for the show you're making right now. I'm sure it's current fans will love it. I'm sure you mean well.


 I guess better luck next decade, I suppose?

Bestgeekever to Boycott Star Wars, too?



"Supreme Picture of all time"? And you thought Ep7 had hype.
 So apparently a bunch of racists want to #BoycottStarWarsVII because it's in favor of White Genocide from what they can discern from the trailers. Can you guys discern for me who the lead is gonna be for that movie? Thanks in advance, I can't tell at all.

But anyway that's silly. That's why I'm joining them.

You see, I like Star Wars and all that good stuff. I would like for more things like that to be going on. But I have a problem. I already told you about the Trans Pacific Partnership and how it was bad and bad for you. Well, now the real shit has gotten out about it and boy is it really bad. It's everything bad BUT extending existing copyright for U.S. Well, ok, that, too.


Now, behind this dealy is, among other suspects, Disney. Disney, is behind Star Wars. I like Star Wars, but I have to take a stand. This deal would hurt us more than it would hurt me to not watch this movie on the big screen. I have to let Disney know that no, they can't just screw over  intellectual property worldwide and then ask us to pay for the screwing.

So I'm boycotting Star Wars Episode 7. Fuck it all, I'm boycotting Marvel, too. I'm boycotting this Disney properties. Not because what they do offends me or because they aren't being sensitive or being too sensitive. Because I don't feel comfortable supporting a company that is actively, literally trying to control the whole planet's freedom of expression.

I can't call my senator or congressman because Puerto Ricans don't get one of those. And I can't vote for the president. The only way I can vote is with my voice and my wallet, and you can be damn sure, I am using the ones I do have.

If this deal is ratified in U.S. soil, I am never, EVER, EVER again paying for another Star Wars or Marvel Product. If you are White or Black or American or not American, this concerns you. If You're going to boycott Star Wars, at least make it for a worthy reason. Something beyond simple canon getting thrown out or you being a massive bigot. Make it for something that is an actual abuse, is going to actually affect people's lives, and you will have no option around.

 

Do you have that in Fighting game?


 
Hmm. Well played.

I want to congratulate Nintendo on finally releasing Little Big Planet on one of it's consoles and replacing all those creepy sackboys with Nintendo characters to the critical acclaim of everyone.






Not being facetious here, a game where you create your own Mario shit is such an obvious move,  like a PokemonMMORPG, that enthusiasts on the Internet beat Nintendo to the idea years and years ago. But at least Nintendo pulled through on this one, am I right?





Now, everyone is talking about Mario Maker, and kind of rallying around the idea of custom game makers. It's a good thing. I like that.

I already wrote at lenght about how I like creating my own characters, even when "my own" sometimes just means "a character I like from something that isn't in WWF Attitude." In fact, I bought Mortal Kombat Armageddon, arguably the most dissapointing Mortal Kombat game since Mortal Kombat 4, just because you could create a custom character, even though in my mind that was also too limited for my tastes.

So I think it's time we get a Street Fighter Maker is what I'm getting at.

Now, no, I don't necessarilly mean it has to be from THE Street Fighter series. Just a game where you, using simple menus, create your own fighting game, which involve the spectrum of abilities and capabilities from fighting games.

Now, tools exist, no doubt.  Mugen, Mugen's 3D cousin EF 12  and 2d Fighter Maker(The engine which powers The Pony Fighting Game and More) all are lowering the curb for how to make a fighting game. But tell me, do you have to use a tutorial to know fuck all about Mario Maker?  Do you need a list of programs to download just to get started? 

No. And that's what I want. Now, there have been attempts to do this before. The Fighter Maker Series by Enterbrain whover is probably the closest, with the capacity to rig your own fighting moves using an animation system onto poligonal bodies, so you can have their stock fighting game characters do as much crotch kickingas they want. That's...sorta what I would like? Not the crotch kicks, just the rest. 





But that series  A) never moved beyond PS2, B) Doesnt allow you to change bodies in any significant way C) Does not allow for projectiles or other extra physical attacks of any kind to enter play and D) Does not allow you to export the game at all.

I understand WHY programs like Mugen and EF 12 are so convoluted: to allow you more options. But I don't see why a more exhaustive version of Fighter Maker, with the option to import CG models hasnt ocurred yet from any of the bigger fighting names. I mean they've all delved into it somewhat. Capcom made  a SF game you could swap body parts in, but it was a terrible mouse only game. Mortal Kombat, as I said, had a create a character feature ONCE, put it away and never brought it back again. Soul Calibur at least kept it, even though the custom characters are only different cosmetically and, while the idea of a cinammon skinned  swordstress  wearing a knight's helmet is lovely, it's hampered when you  know it's all Mitsurugi's moveset, with no variation.

All these long standing series could take a break from  all the F2P and Extreme Vollybolleing vacationing none-sense to give themselves to the fans that have a great fighting game inside them just waiting to burst out. It might especially benefit  perennial second banana King of Fighters to try it. If you didn't care about Kyo Kusanagi before the year 2000, chances are you probably don't care about his new game. I know I don't. BUT, if they did a custom fighter using it's assets and characters, it MIGHT just be the thing to get a lot of people into it.

I don't know. Maybe it's just me. I've always wanted to make a fighting game, and while my attempts so far have yet to yield success, I can't help but see the way people react to these custom content things like Mario Maker, Minecraft and Little Big Planet and see how passionate people are about fighting games, and can't help but wonder why these two ideas haven't ever really been put together in a easy to use package. Even without it people wound up making fighting games about Mario, Sonic, Valis, Pokemon. Imagine this power, wieldable by anyone. Imagine.

What are you guys watching?