The Mortal Kombat X Bingo at 11:12 AM

Hey there, boys and girls! Here's a little game I cribbed from Joystiq. I'm gonna throw some guesses at the Recently announced Mortal Kombat X. If I four of these guesses in a row then Bingo, I win.

The Mortal Kombat bingo is applicable until E3 ends.Here's a description of each thing, in case y'all can't read this Simpsons font. Fight!

Fujin is Back

Remember Fujin? Well he hasn't shown up in 8 years, which in itself is a 9 year wait from Mortal Kombat 4. Fujin gotta rise again.

Retkon

They're gonna Retkon the shit out of having killed a bunch of good guys and sent them to hell. Well, they would do that, eventually. My bet is they're gonna do it now.

New Faces

AT E3. I mean, yeah, they announced they where gonna have new characters, but will we see them? Probably, yeah.

F2P DLC POS

Are you gonna have to pay 5 dollars to play as Sheeva? Well, would you?

Kustom Karacters

Fuck and yes. This option's been sorely missed.

Jack Bauer Plays Subzero

Well, why wouldn't he?

Konquest story mode

Well, they aren't just gonna make a little movie this time, huh?

Most of the Kast from MK4 and after

Well, they already did retread the first 3 games (again) so maybe they can get on with things.

Unplayable karakter bekomes playable.

Well, I think they've just about used every asshole that ever was mentioned or rumored. But maybe Kid Thunder will show up.

Simplified Fatalities

Forward, back, back fuck off. Nobody wants to do those little dances anymore. I'll eat my hat if performind finishing moves isn't simplified this time around.

Tanya rides again

We all love Tanya. We want her back.

Zebron
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Regarding the Ninja Turtles trailer at 1:31 PM

I always wondered what bald Whopee Goldberg looks like without hair.

I'll keep it short. There's two kinds of nerd-group reactions to the idea of Michael Bay directing sodomizing destroying annihilating eradicating eviscerating producing  Ninja Turtles movie. One is that, as General Garza from Expendables put it once "is no good". The second is a backlash against the backlash. A lot of us have been around the block plenty to know that us geeks can be a petulant and thankless lot, and some of us are kind of hopeless optimists.

And if you can't trust a fictional hispanic being played by a Brazilian, who can you trust?

This trailer, it is clearly not going to turn most of the General Garza's of the world into ardent supporters. In fact, it neatly matches every half-hearted joke one could make about this franchise in relation to said Bay. In fact, I kind of joked with my brother that, within the first quarter of the trailer Transformers could have popped onscreen and i wouldn't have bat an eyelash.

I'm not even gonna complain about this being bad. I'm just loving how Michael Bay can just match every single criticism we could lobby against his shit. We think we're playing him, but he's playing us. He knows what's up.

First he hits you low with expectation lowering  terrible leaked scripts. Slowly he builds it up with Megan Foxes and a whitewashed Oroku Saki called Erik Sach's.  And then, by the time you're watching one of these gorillas in a half-shell bend a Humvee with his body, it's over: you're just glad they're not aliens.

Michael Bay Joke Punchline  opens this August. Evil remains triumphant.

Regarding the Ninja Turtles trailer at 1:31 PM

I always wondered what bald Whopee Goldberg looks like without hair.

I'll keep it short. There's two kinds of nerd-group reactions to the idea of Michael Bay directing sodomizing destroying annihilating eradicating eviscerating producing  Ninja Turtles movie. One is that, as General Garza from Expendables put it once "is no good". The second is a backlash against the backlash. A lot of us have been around the block plenty to know that us geeks can be a petulant and thankless lot, and some of us are kind of hopeless optimists.

And if you can't trust a fictional hispanic being played by a Bazilian, who can you trust?

This trailer, it is clearly not going to turn most of the General Garza's of the world into ardent supporters. In fact, it neatly matches every half-hearted joke one could make about this franchise in relation to said Bay. In fact, I kind of joked with my brother that, within the first quarter of the trailer Transformers could have popped onscreen and i wouldn't have bat an eyelash.

I'm not even gonna complain about this being bad. I'm just loving how Michael Bay can just match every single criticism we could lobby against his shit. We think we're playing him, but he's playing us. He knows what's up.

First he hits you low with expectation lowering  terrible leaked scripts. Slowly he builds it up with Megan Foxes and a whitewashed Oroku Saki called Erik Sach's.  And then, by the time you're watching one of these gorillas in a half-shell bend a Humvee with his body, it's over: you're just glad they're not aliens.

Michael Bay Joke Punchline  opens this August. Evil remains triumphant.