Horrendous Theory: Mass Effect 2 is really an Italian Star Wars ripoff at 11:35 AM

,

Hoarders IIIN SPAAAACE!


I am deeply, madly in love with Mass Effect. It's one of the greatest videogames available on consoles nowadays, and not just because it let's you watch some space lesbians making out.


And I say that like it's nothing.

 Besides that, one of the strong elements of the game is the story. Broad enought to be exciting, yet detailed enought to be deep, the game's narrative is attractive after the fifth time . Of course, the game is really want would happen if Star Wars had an orgy with Star Trek and Battlestar Galactica while Babylon 5 watches.Thats' why I love it.

Still, you can't blame the game from taking cues and ideas from the greats of the Sci Fi genre: after all, the influence of years and years of them are hard to ignore. But what if I told you the plot of ME is stolen wholesale from a cheap imitation of Star Wars?



Not this one.

 Well, that's what I'm about to do! Meet Star Oddysey A.K.A.Captive Planet A.K.A. Metallica. It's a little known Italian film that was released in the height of Star War's popularity.  But  what does a movie with Robot Boxing, Sportacus' retarded cousin, and the auction of the earth have to do with ME2's intricate plot?



On their defense, Star Wars could have used more Space Skanks.

 See, Star Oddysey is in the public domain, and me liking cheap inspiration as much as anyone, decided to watch it. Here's more or less the lowdown.

In the future, Humankind still hasn't colonized other worlds, when an alien race straight up colonize US: an evil Psychic alien overlord who really wanted a closer look at his hot wafflemaker comes to the earth, and starts zapping the hell out of countries, enslaving humanity and putting earth on an Intergalactic auction. Human 's forces are useless against the aliens.

They clearly want earth's biggest resource: wigs.

 The human government supresses the news( Are we so distracted by Lindsay Lohan's antics that we ignore Tokyo's completely destroyed?) and sends for a...he's kind of a psychic, to help out. But he's used to getting things his way and hates the earth government.Eventually they work him over and cooperates. He devices that they will need a team of specialists to deal with the alien menace, and it will be comepletely out of Earth Gov's official workings.

They bust out two swindlers/Scientists from jail, steal a ship from E-Gov, hire an expert in RMMA(robot-mixed martial arts) who himself brings an annoying couple of duck looking robots and an ace space pilot with a cool spider-shirt.

Maybe we can kill the aliens while they are busy vomiting.

They figure out how to disable the aliens, and it all goes where you'd expect it. If where you expect it is the promises of Robots having heterosexual intercourse and the Scientists kinda joining the villain at the end.
Now look closer(unless you don't want ME2 being spoilt. In which case, stop reading, stupid. )

In ME2, human colonies are under attack by aliens, who pretty much kidnap everyone and make their getaway. Official human authorities, and ME2's Space U.N. supresses and downplays what is happening, while the rogue prohuman Cerberus Group decides to take direct, beyond-the-pale action. The game's Commander Sheppard is sent to aquire a team that can deal with it, which includes a scientist, breaking out an Excon and an assortment of aliens.

They figure out how to disable the aliens, and it all goes where you'd expect it. If where you expect it is people dying because they don't talk to you anymore, you jerk.

"If you don't side with me on this petty argument, I can't make any promises on not letting swarms of bugs kill me."

I believe ME2 is not linked to Star Oddysey by coincidence, but by purposedfull plagiarism. Course, Star Oddysey is public Domain. So it's not too bad a ripoff anyway. Plus, they removed the bickering robot couple and added  Seth Green.  So it's all good in the end.

 Lord Grid Face is against Robot Sex. Also he kicks children in the face.Nice.




Horrendous Theory: Mass Effect 2 is really an Italian Star Wars ripoff at 11:35 AM

,

Hoarders IIIN SPAAAACE!


I am deeply, madly in love with Mass Effect. It's one of the greatest videogames available on consoles nowadays, and not just because it let's you watch some space lesbians making out.


And I say that like it's nothing.

 Besides that, one of the strong elements of the game is the story. Broad enought to be exciting, yet detailed enought to be deep, the game's narrative is attractive after the fifth time . Of course, the game is really want would happen if Star Wars had an orgy with Star Trek and Battlestar Galactica while Babylon 5 watches.Thats' why I love it.

Still, you can't blame the game from taking cues and ideas from the greats of the Sci Fi genre: after all, the influence of years and years of them are hard to ignore. But what if I told you the plot of ME is stolen wholesale from a cheap imitation of Star Wars?



Not this one.

Make random plot tutorial at 1:45 PM

Whoo! Have to settle down from L.I.E.S. a bit, and when I need to do that, I like to mash together stuff in a vain attempt to create a coherent whole. And now, You can too!

First, go to IMDB, and change the search to either quote or plots. Search for things you'd like a story to have. I chose Martial arts in this case. Remember that plots have lots of character's names, while Quotes tend to talk a lot in second person.

In a different tab, open the Travesty generator. Copy your results of your IMDB search and repeat the search with something else you like. I chose boobs. Copy that. You can continue to add IMDB results.

Whan you have what you want, change the "order of the travesty" to something between 5 and 7. Make the lenght as long as you want. But if you're not easilly satisfied, you may want a smaller search.

These are my results
Barney Ross doesn't either. A hideous one-eyed hag offer still open? 33.


Grown Ups (2010) Su Qi-Er retired from his mind and ultra-violent tendencies


her and daughter on the story was me, Alex, three will use a comet to deal


with Marie by his wife Ying and awakens in Leonardo has gone to Central


American island by a Reindeer (2005 TV Series) Episode: The Simpsons (2006)


You want to touch your boobs against him. 27. Two and adventure by two


racist cops whom he'd dispatched too thinking them. 27. Two an

Make random plot tutorial at 1:45 PM

Whoo! Have to settle down from L.I.E.S. a bit, and when I need to do that, I like to mash together stuff in a vain attempt to create a coherent whole. And now, You can too!

First, go to IMDB, and change the search to either quote or plots. Search for things you'd like a story to have. I chose Martial arts in this case. Remember that plots have lots of character's names, while Quotes tend to talk a lot in second person.

In a different tab, open the Travesty generator. Copy your results of your IMDB search and repeat the search with something else you like. I chose boobs. Copy that. You can continue to add IMDB results.

Whan you have what you want, change the "order of the travesty" to something between 5 and 7. Make the lenght as long as you want. But if you're not easilly satisfied, you may want a smaller search.

These are my results
Barney Ross doesn't either. A hideous one-eyed hag offer still open? 33.


Grown Ups (2010) Su Qi-Er retired from his mind and ultra-violent tendencies


her and daughter on the story was me, Alex, three will use a comet to deal


with Marie by his wife Ying and awakens in Leonardo has gone to Central


American island by a Reindeer (2005 TV Series) Episode: The Simpsons (2006)


You want to touch your boobs against him. 27. Two and adventure by two


racist cops whom he'd dispatched too thinking them. 27. Two an

The Ghost of Bilstein... at 10:15 AM

Hayato, you ain't nothing but a slut to him!

...is Jeff Dunham's newest puppet.

The Ghost of Bilstein... at 10:15 AM

Hayato, you ain't nothing but a slut to him!

...is Jeff Dunham's newest puppet.

Leaked in early Secrets.: Variable Gee-Oh. at 6:10 PM

Haven't mastered the art of ironing, yet.

Know you now to trust the power of my L.I.E.S.? Good, because it is high time I brought  you more.

See, I went to comiccon. Lesser men go there in cars or planes. Not me, though. I went in a truck made entirely out of naked whores, each making delicious Mayo Sandwiches, and not with their hands,either.  I would have let people see it, but I was stealthy cuz I was in a secret mission: Find out which Megaman was in the game.


So, I move in silent, like a Ninja, sneak past Killian and Inafume up to a cellphone Nitsuma had left there. I didn't have much time, so i quickly hacked it using some chicken wire and the skills the Montauk Monster taught me.

 

You shall be avenged, Heidi...

I managed to get this insanely small thumbail below.

I would have gotten more, but it's kinda hard to hack when you have an Araña cosplayer pleasuring you.

There you go, folks. That should solve THAT little dillema. But remember,  that not everyone has the truth as firmly held as I . Don't trust rumors or speculation without sources or evidence. Trust L.I.E.S.  Where the truth comes to dye it's shirt.