7 franchises that could use a Cinematic Universe at 1:04 PM

Wha...money? This? How

Everybody wants a cinematic universe now. Every time studios sent out a press release with those words, they're saying "please give us as much money as Avengers!" Especially now that A2 is out there, raking all the money by the yachtful.

It's mostly misplaced wishful thinking. But that's not to say nobody can ever pull it off. And there's some franchises where it does kind of make sense.

These are them.

7l) James Bond

Actually, this was announced over a decade ago.

There's been 20 something James Bond films, stretching across 40 something decades. With very few recurring characters and very little continuity to them, there's almost no world building. "James Bond exists, here's a threat to the Western World, James Bond has sex and shoots until the Western World's interests are safe again."

But it doesn't have to be like that. There's bound to be other Double Os out there, doing their thing differently from James Bond. And the villains. My, God! They could totally establish why Jaws has metal teeth, Blofeld is scarred and why shooting people makes Xenia Onattop sexmoan.

6) Resident Evil

"Stay Behind me!" "I KNOW MY PLACE, ALEECE!"

The newest Resident Evil movie was on hold, because Milla Jovovich was too pregnant to play the lady lead Alice, for a few months.

Now, we all know Resident Evil is nothing without Alice. But maybe, instead of waiting till next year to film everytime she gets pregnant, they could make a movie without Alice.

It sounds crazy, but there's other characters in RE besides Alice, who can have their own, similar to the game's story somewhat adventures.

We don't have to cut off our Alice supply cold turkey, though . We can have her cameo pregnantly to explain God himself chose her to be the mother of Jesus mark 2 because she's so awesome.

　

5) Dragonball

NNNgaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Ok...Dragon Ball sucked all the testes of the universe. But that doesn't mean whoever it is has the rights(please don't be Fox...) can't have another go at it.

But the whole Goku story...the well is poisoned, you know? Nobody wants to see Justin Chatwin don the spiky hair again.

But Dragon Ball has dozens of ancilliary characters, races, and worlds to put onscreen, with even more planned!

You could have a movie just set on planet Vegeta, establishing them Saiyan as planet wrecking badasses they are, and ending with Vegeta starting on his month's long journey to fight Goku. You could have an entire movie explain how Master Roshi became the old pervert we know him to be. You could have a movie just of Piccolo training Gohan. You could...oh, shit it's Fox. Nada, forget I said anything.

Glitch Music: Barknuckles at 12:34 PM

What would happen if we crossed the zacharine sweetness of The Barney with the kinetism and aggressiveness of the Knuckles? Find out, as I record the sounds that happen when you load  a save of a thing into another thing!

(Glitch Music is what happens when you load a save of a game into another game, producing a music or sound that is from neither.)