Logic Break down on Nightcrawler at 10:06 AM

 Let us consider now, the powers and capabilities of Nightcralwer, the X-Man who looks like a deviant art OC for Dante's Inferno.

Besides the heavy handed metaphor of being a religious guy who looks like a devil, Nightcrawler is known for his capacity to teleport. See what happens is, Nightcrawler can immediately decide to be in an entirely different place, and in a puff of smoke, he's there.  As seen here.

But what if Nightcrawler is falling(as often happens)? If he's falling at a certain speed...doesn't he keep falling at that speed?

How do we know this is so? Doesn't his speed "reset" as he goes wherever he goes  when he's not seen? Well, not according to the movies anyway.

So if someone falls off a plane, and Nightcrawler decides to  teleport down, grab that person, and teleports back into the moving vehicle(?), as happend in X-2...shouldn't he fall like a soursop on a manhole?

And you may think I'm ruining it with my overthinking, but there are some cool possibilities to this. If the 'Crawl  wanted a nice push forward, he could keep make a long drop and then teleport feet forward, delivering a nice flying kick to whatever he wants to be defeated.

In fact, he could use this to slow down, if he teleports feet up, lets gravity slow him, and then teleports again.

Logic Break down on Nightcrawler at 10:06 AM

 Let us consider now, the powers and capabilities of Nightcralwer, the X-Man who looks like a deviant art OC for Dante's Inferno.

Besides the heavy handed metaphor of being a religious guy who looks like a devil, Nightcrawler is known for his capacity to teleport. See what happens is, Nightcrawler can immediately decide to be in an entirely different place, and in a puff of smoke, he's there.  As seen here.

But what if Nightcrawler is falling(as often happens)? If he's falling at a certain speed...doesn't he keep falling at that speed?

How do we know this is so? Doesn't his speed "reset" as he goes wherever he goes  when he's not seen? Well, not according to the movies anyway.

So if someone falls off a plane, and Nightcrawler decides to  teleport down, grab that person, and teleports back into the moving vehicle(?), as happend in X-2...shouldn't he fall like a soursop on a manhole?

And you may think I'm ruining it with my overthinking, but there are some cool possibilities to this. If the 'Crawl  wanted a nice push forward, he could keep make a long drop and then teleport feet forward, delivering a nice flying kick to whatever he wants to be defeated.

In fact, he could use this to slow down, if he teleports feet up, lets gravity slow him, and then teleports again.

Dear Mr Forsekin Man maker... at 3:33 PM

This panel should totally lead to porn.

...I am disappoint. What happened to Foreskin Girl? What happened to US?

I mean, I am terrible at predicting, so it only follows I've been so accurate with what this comic will deliver next, that YOU are cribbing my ideas. Or that it's a predictable affair to guess where a comic against genital modification to a man who is slightly read. Whatever.

The point is: you guys failed to deliver on your end. So I'm afraid I won't talk about Foreskin Man #3. I won't talk about how it's slightly less racially worrying except too late, or how ludicrous it is loinclothed  Africans straight up kidnapped a boy from America JUST FOR THE CIRCUMCISION(score another one for me).  I definitively won't mention how hypocritical Foreskin Man is to rescue a kidnapped baby, when he's the franchises most successful kidnapper.

This "Vulva Girl" bullshit is bullshit. If you're gonna do what I'm saying, do it right. Let's try it:

Oh, I'm sure the next episode, a Legion of Doom style gathering will occur where all the villains will have a goal of delivering 200 foreskins to a demon, Bible style , and they will totally rip out Vulva girl's vulva.  However, she will also gain a pet: Vulvasaur.

Out of my head and stay out!

Dear Mr Forsekin Man maker... at 3:33 PM

This panel should totally lead to porn.

...I am disappoint. What happened to Foreskin Girl? What happened to US?

I mean, I am terrible at predicting, so it only follows I've been so accurate with what this comic will deliver next, that YOU are cribbing my ideas. Or that it's a predictable affair to guess where a comic against genital modification to a man who is slightly read. Whatever.

The point is: you guys failed to deliver on your end. So I'm afraid I won't talk about Foreskin Man #3. I won't talk about how it's slightly less racially worrying except too late, or how ludicrous it is loinclothed  Africans straight up kidnapped a boy from America JUST FOR THE CIRCUMCISION(score another one for me).  I definitively won't mention how hypocritical Foreskin Man is to rescue a kidnapped baby, when he's the franchises most successful kidnapper.

This "Vulva Girl" bullshit is bullshit. If you're gonna do what I'm saying, do it right. Let's try it:

Oh, I'm sure the next episode, a Legion of Doom style gathering will occur where all the villains will have a goal of delivering 200 foreskins to a demon, Bible style , and they will totally rip out Vulva girl's vulva.  However, she will also gain a pet: Vulvasaur.

Out of my head and stay out!

Great Movies From the Perspective of Minor Characters at 2:07 AM

Foiled again! At least  I can show you my ugly ass Photoshops that aren't good enought for Cracked. Behold!

Really proud of this one, no joke.

Was a nice idea, anyway.

Just kidding: Cabin Fever wasn't great.

Saiko!

Getting kidnapped by Stryker once does not a super hero make.

Kobeh! KOBEH KOBEH KOBEH! KObeh, MAIN MAN!

Great Movies From the Perspective of Minor Characters at 2:07 AM

Foiled again! At least  I can show you my ugly ass Photoshops that aren't good enought for Cracked. Behold!

Really proud of this one, no joke.

Was a nice idea, anyway.

Just kidding: Cabin Fever wasn't great.

Saiko!

Getting kidnapped by Stryker once does not a super hero make.

Kobeh! KOBEH KOBEH KOBEH! KObeh, MAIN MAN!

Why didn't no one tell me? at 3:41 AM

Is there an academy award category for mammaries?

I mean Christina Hendricks as Wonder Woman? I know it'll probably not be, but...

Not you: YOU TWO, get over here!

I didn't even know about this amazing woman until today, but she has completely revolutionized my understanding of what breasts are. Are they fake? Hell yeah. But we don't have enough women with porn-star breasts starring in our mainstream movies. All you guys swooning over Angelina Jolie and Megan Fox, I'll never understand you. I guess collagen is an aphrodisiac to some. There's pretty,there's sexy, and there's stacked, and there's I support Christina Hendrick's Breasts for the role because of their outstanding achievement on the field being stacked.

However, we must temper our excitement: the guy who is sure can do what Joss Whedon could not, Nicholas Refn ,has talked about HIS plan on Diana of Themyscira's adventures.

...because the real origin of Wonder Woman is: What if women were more powerful than men? What would the world be like? That’s a subliminal theme.

The whole idea of a woman who is basically more powerful than any man — and who will always be that, and comes from a society of women who are more powerful than men — is an interesting theme that I think can be very contemporary.

The guy made Valhalla rising, which sure is a film that exists. And his take on the material seems pretty alright. I hope it turns out well, so we can watch the deep impoications of gender relations wrestle Christina Hendricks into the ground, her chest heaving, swinging wildly her mighty  breasts of justice, dirty with sand and sweat.