Anotated Super Mario Bros. Super Show Theme song at 12:23 PM

WAITTA...WHY DIDN'T YOU ADD MY FACE TO THE GRAPHIC? IT'S ALL ABOUT MARIO THE BIG STAR, INNIT?

Look, we're all wont to admit that sometimes things  can be a little stupider if you actually pay attention to them. When I was young I loved the hell out of some Super Mario Bos. Super show intro, even thought the language barrier kept me from understanding  what it was saying. But I got the point of this embarassingly old school rap: Super Mario Brothers are awesome, get daddy to buy you a Nintendo.

However, I decided now to look into these lyrics, and see what they're about. And they're just aweful. So throuroughly awful, in fact,  I must  go into excrutiating  detail of each verse and rhyme until I can unbreak them. Here it is. Follow along at home if you must.

We're the Mario Brothers(No good Hip Hop song ever began with "We're Blank". Even then, this is how lame parents rapped.), and plumbing's our game(It is? Seriously don't you want to rap about being famous adventurers?), we're not like the others who get all the fame("Other plumbers gettin' all the fame, son. We wasting our time collecting gold coins and shit") If your sink is  in trouble you can call us on the double(Goddamn you! Nobody's ever cared about the plumber aspect of your lives!).

We're faster than the others(Okay, tell me your stupid rates, then), you'll be hooked on the brothers(What?)

I said hooked on the brothers.(No, I heard you the first time. I mean, are you still talking about digging into my toilet or about the addictive qualities of Super Mario 2? Because I'm not sure I want to be "hooked"on getting my damn plumbing fixed))

You you're in for a treat so hang on to your seat(Toilet Seat?)

Get ready for adventure and remarkable feats. (Finally! Unambiguosly not about shit pipes!)

Y'all meet koopas and troopas, the princess and the others(Koopas and Troopas are the same! And way to alienate the shyguys and birdos that just happen to take a more central stage in this show!")

Hanging with the brothers you'll be hooked on the brothers!(Brothers don't let Brothers rhyme with themselves.)

 Yet again!(peet peet, peet, pee peet, peepeet pee, peet! Hey, no one ever said the Mario theme isn't catchy)

Hooked I say. (FASTER! STRONGER! MORE HOOKED ON A CARICATURE OF ITALIANS!)

Oooooh!

Let's go!

The Brothers(But not  like"ethnically Afro American peer" Brothers)

the Brothers(Even if this is being rapped by one)

the Brothers(Or maybe Mario and Luigi are not blood brothers.)

the Brothers.(Do Ital Americans call each other brother?)

Anotated Super Mario Bros. Super Show Theme song at 12:23 PM

WAITTA...WHY DIDN'T YOU ADD MY FACE TO THE GRAPHIC? IT'S ALL ABOUT MARIO THE BIG STAR, INNIT?

Look, we're all wont to admit that sometimes things  can be a little stupider if you actually pay attention to them. When I was young I loved the hell out of some Super Mario Bos. Super show intro, even thought the language barrier kept me from understanding  what it was saying. But I got the point of this embarassingly old school rap: Super Mario Brothers are awesome, get daddy to buy you a Nintendo.

However, I decided now to look into these lyrics, and see what they're about. And they're just aweful. So throuroughly awful, in fact,  I must  go into excrutiating  detail of each verse and rhyme until I can unbreak them. Here it is. Follow along at home if you must.

We're the Mario Brothers(No good Hip Hop song ever began with "We're Blank". Even then, this is how lame parents rapped.), and plumbing's our game(It is? Seriously don't you want to rap about being famous adventurers?), we're not like the others who get all the fame("Other plumbers gettin' all the fame, son. We wasting our time collecting gold coins and shit") If your sink is  in trouble you can call us on the double(Goddamn you! Nobody's ever cared about the plumber aspect of your lives!).

We're faster than the others(Okay, tell me your stupid rates, then), you'll be hooked on the brothers(What?)

I said hooked on the brothers.(No, I heard you the first time. I mean, are you still talking about digging into my toilet or about the addictive qualities of Super Mario 2? Because I'm not sure I want to be "hooked"on getting my damn plumbing fixed))

You you're in for a treat so hang on to your seat(Toilet Seat?)

Get ready for adventure and remarkable feats. (Finally! Unambiguosly not about shit pipes!)

Y'all meet koopas and troopas, the princess and the others(Koopas and Troopas are the same! And way to alienate the shyguys and birdos that just happen to take a more central stage in this show!")

Hanging with the brothers you'll be hooked on the brothers!(Brothers don't let Brothers rhyme with themselves.)

 Yet again!(peet peet, peet, pee peet, peepeet pee, peet! Hey, no one ever said the Mario theme isn't catchy)

Hooked I say. (FASTER! STRONGER! MORE HOOKED ON A CARICATURE OF ITALIANS!)

Oooooh!

Let's go!

The Brothers(But not  like"ethnically Afro American peer" Brothers)

the Brothers(Even if this is being rapped by one)

the Brothers(Or maybe Mario and Luigi are not blood brothers.)

the Brothers.(Do Ital Americans call each other brother?)

Michael Bay makes true on dumb jokes again, gets Megan Fox Ninja Turtles role at 9:21 AM

So it turns out Michael Benjamin Bay has welcomed back Megan Fox for the Ninja Turtles movie he'stotally just a producer for, a move I would not have made a joke about because it  would have seemed too stupid.

Megan Fox, known for her role of "Mikaela", on the Transformer's movies, and being booted of those movies for comparing her director to  Hitler (Well, they both caused a lot of explosions and battles that could hardly be seen, okay?), is probably the least important she's been ever since "Jennifer's Body" tanked, and yet here she is, probably playing April O'Neil. Because really, what else is she gonna play, Krang?   During the inexplicable height of her fame (I mean, she's a model who got hired for a huge blockbuster. When did that equal "sexiest woman in the world?") I might have understood she getting again cast as the main female lead to an 80's cartoon franchise reboot as anything other than a barb on Bay's vocal detractors. But otherwise, it's a realization of the exact  jab those fans would have done. That Bay had to transcend a personal feud, and the fact that Megan Fox is just about out of the limelight only points out to what we've known all along.

Michael Bay hates nerds.

Michael Bay makes true on dumb jokes again, gets Megan Fox Ninja Turtles role at 9:21 AM

So it turns out Michael Benjamin Bay has welcomed back Megan Fox for the Ninja Turtles movie he'stotally just a producer for, a move I would not have made a joke about because it  would have seemed too stupid.

Megan Fox, known for her role of "Mikaela", on the Transformer's movies, and being booted of those movies for comparing her director to  Hitler (Well, they both caused a lot of explosions and battles that could hardly be seen, okay?), is probably the least important she's been ever since "Jennifer's Body" tanked, and yet here she is, probably playing April O'Neil. Because really, what else is she gonna play, Krang?   During the inexplicable height of her fame (I mean, she's a model who got hired for a huge blockbuster. When did that equal "sexiest woman in the world?") I might have understood she getting again cast as the main female lead to an 80's cartoon franchise reboot as anything other than a barb on Bay's vocal detractors. But otherwise, it's a realization of the exact  jab those fans would have done. That Bay had to transcend a personal feud, and the fact that Megan Fox is just about out of the limelight only points out to what we've known all along.

Michael Bay hates nerds.

Why the PS4 did not wow you at 9:08 AM

Are you not entertained?

It happened last week: Sony announced  it's fourth Playstation game console, the Playstation 4. A forgone conclusion, the announcement says that Sony's entry into the 8th generation of consoles will arrive in a few months, will allow players to share their game seamlessly with strangers and friends, will NOT shit over gamers with used PS4 games and WILL shit over gamers expecting to play games from their old PS machines without having to buy new digital incarnations of  them. The reactions have included a lot of mockery and snark that hasn't been seen since...well since the last Sony console release.

Personally, I'm gonna pass, like I did with Playstrations 0 to 3. It's nothing against Sony, I always  just like the other consoles better. Sure, the N64 was a miss, the Dreamcast was a miss, The Xbox had some faults, and the 360 had to be rebought about 8 times. But there's something about Sony's ways I just don't like.

But as for the other people without Anti-Sony supertitions, there might be something else going on. It's a new console, the graphics are really great, and there's some cool games coming for it. What's not to like? Well it's a problem with the way the industry has driven itself forward.

Let us remember the story of cinema, first. Movies used to be, at the very beggining, silent and in Black and white. For the record, this was over 100 years ago. Later still sound was added, and it was a pretty profound change. Later still came color. With sound and color, movies moved ever closer to looking just like real life. The techniques for what was onscreen also evolved, eventually surpassing theater.  By the time the late 1990s arrived, with digital color correction techniques, movies not only looked as real as the hands behind them allowed, but they used those palletes to sell the emotional underscored of the story.

In less than half the time, videogames have advanced at twice the speed. Where the early primitive games where rudimentary shapes that looked like clowns and balls and naked indian women because our imagination allowed, with no sound, we moved to interactive cartoons, and from there to crude poligonal people with painted drumsticks for hands, and yet from that into fully realized computer people gleefully setting the kitchen on fire. But then things stopped getting exponentially larger, because it was impossible.

Hello, Typo!

  

You see, each succesfull generation has used graphic upgrades as a selling point. This worked when the previous console's graphics looked like cubist paintings come to life, but now there's not that much more to jump. From 360/PS3/Wii to now, developers have been allowed to put onscreen whatever they've wanted. I'm not saying games looked just like real life. I'm saying there aren't any realistic limits. You can have battles with 100's of people onscreen, each with lavish detail. Graphics where the main hook, but now that graphics can't groow that much, people still expect them to. We've grown used to comparisons to Toy Story, Jusrassic Park.

Look at this Unreal 4 tech demo, featuring sweaty Liam Neeson killing Storm Troopers in Sin Cityduring a downpour while smoking a cigarette, and ocassionally turning into The Thing. It's prettier than what we have now, it is, but it's not that huge a leap from today's stuff. But should it be?

Movies can now show whatever they want onscreen, and whatever they can't they add with CGI. So can games. The difference in amount of stubles in hair is not  that much of a big deal. The fields that need to grow now are things like animation. Much like paintings, once the novelty of replicating the real world has faded, I suspect more visually abstract games will start popping up more frequently. PS4 did not wow you, but it's not because it doesn't look great. It does. It's that graphics are becoming less important all the time.

Or maybe you wanted to see the console, I don't know. 

Why the PS4 did not wow you at 9:08 AM

Are you not entertained?

It happened last week: Sony announced  it's fourth Playstation game console, the Playstation 4. A forgone conclusion, the announcement says that Sony's entry into the 8th generation of consoles will arrive in a few months, will allow players to share their game seamlessly with strangers and friends, will NOT shit over gamers with used PS4 games and WILL shit over gamers expecting to play games from their old PS machines without having to buy new digital incarnations of  them. The reactions have included a lot of mockery and snark that hasn't been seen since...well since the last Sony console release.

Personally, I'm gonna pass, like I did with Playstrations 0 to 3. It's nothing against Sony, I always  just like the other consoles better. Sure, the N64 was a miss, the Dreamcast was a miss, The Xbox had some faults, and the 360 had to be rebought about 8 times. But there's something about Sony's ways I just don't like.

But as for the other people without Anti-Sony supertitions, there might be something else going on. It's a new console, the graphics are really great, and there's some cool games coming for it. What's not to like? Well it's a problem with the way the industry has driven itself forward.

What do you remember of the year 2000? I remember watching Scary Movie and regretting it,  Shouting to Papa Roach on the radiom, and joining an online forume called Scruffy Dragon. Despite what the name might suggest, it was a forum dedicated to M.U.G.E.N. projects. Using a borderline stolen fighting game engine, this  rag tag group of fans where working on a great endeavor: Marvel vs DC.  By coopting the Capcom Sprites for Marvel characters, half of the animation job seems to have been done for them. But to get the DC, other, or the same, sprites had to be altered, in a process called "Frankenspriting." The project continued, with no end in sight.  Years passed. 2 years. 5 years. 10 years. The project moved steadilly, and with ever ambitious choices for it, and terms like "phases" thrown in for good measure. I'd have waited forever for  such a game, and seems I might as well wait forever. I'd read about it, download the stages, but I can't say I'd played Marvel vs DC.

Last year I went on la little  bit about Friendship Is Fighting, the  fan game that carries on into the bizarre phenomenom that  has enraptured thousands of grown ass men to   a show for girls about ponies. Including me, I guess.  Since then  a small beta test has leaked. This also would sometimes happen at Scruffydragons, and the drama would quickly escalate into long threads filled with accusations.But I can say I played FiF, if only against a stationary player 2.

So, here's this: I want to tip my hat to Mane 6, for not taking 10 years to make a fangame. It is to your credit that this game, in the time it's taken, is already ridiculously good. The presentation is great and consitent, the graphics are beautiful and the animations are fluid, and I suspect your levels of dedication are key to this. I don't know how you that last part, though I suspect tracing of actual animations. If a group of dedicated people can get together to create soimething like this, who knows what else could be done?

This is what I had written before I found out Hasbro sent cease and desist orders to Mane 6. I guess, in a way, we all knew this was one of the possibilities. I would recomend continued, secret work on it, followed by a leak.