What WB should be looking for in a Lois Lane at 5:36 AM

So...damn...insecure...

Rumor has it the studio who recently chose guy-that-a-lot-of-people-wanted-for-Superman as Superman is circling around a Lois Lane. And if the rumor is true, they are very lost. The Twilight Chick? Jessica Biel? Someone from Glee?

She's as surprised as you are.

I have some opinion's on the matter. But let's make it fun: rather than tell you which actress should play her, I'll tell you what qualities that actress should have, as well as  who qualifies in that category.

5)Some roughness in the face area

Unlike Spider-Man's Mary Jane, Lois Lane is not a renown beauty. She's kind of average physically with a strong personality. She needs to be a tough journalist, not a lost babe in the woods. Babyfaced actresses like the last Lois don't work as well as  less obvious beauties Margot Kidder and Erica Durance.

Example:

Famke Jansen, of X-Men fame. Now, Famke may be a little old for the role(and probably still reminds people of X3), but she's got the right kind of face.

More after the jump

4)Can go over the top.

If the movie's moving away from Return's  almost-a-chick-flic-but-totally-a-homage-to- the-old-Movie, it's only fair Lois's characterization be more manic. We need an actor's actress, who can show people up through sheer personality. This is  the woman who asks the tough questions that get other people dropped off.  windows. She should be able to make people laugh every once in a while, too. She's not a total bitch, you know?

Example

Cameron Diaz, man.  She can  play funny, manic characters, yet give intensity to slightly more serious ones.

3)Should be sexy, but not a pornstar.

I already said Lois isn't exactly a world class beauty. However, there should be some appeal to her. I'm not shooting Judi Dench appeal, here.  However it should be a more subtle appeal. A woman that exudes sexyness even fully clothed.

Example:

Kate Beckinsale

2) A woman of action

Lois is NOT, as her reputation might lead us to believe, a damsel in distress. Well, she could be, but she shouldn't be. In a way, I like to think of her as a person who tries to do what Superman does(right the wrongs) but is limited by the inabilities to punch things into the sun. But she's still got the guts to try. So she shouldn't just be yelling "HEEEEEELP MEEE SUPERMAAAAAAN!" She should kick a little butt, too.

Example:

 As much as you probably like Jolie more than me, she's got the action woman thing down pat.

1)An unexpected choice

You just choose the guy half of the Superherohype boards are sure should play Supes. How do you follow that up? Simple. Throw a curveball. Pick a Lois no one thinks you'd choose. And I don't mean Kirsten Stewart, either. A surprise choice that rounds out all that stuff I previously mention.

Example:

Rosario Dawson.

Just sayin'...

What WB should be looking for in a Lois Lane at 5:36 AM

So...damn...insecure...

Rumor has it the studio who recently chose guy-that-a-lot-of-people-wanted-for-Superman as Superman is circling around a Lois Lane. And if the rumor is true, they are very lost. The Twilight Chick? Jessica Biel? Someone from Glee?

She's as surprised as you are.

I have some opinion's on the matter. But let's make it fun: rather than tell you which actress should play her, I'll tell you what qualities that actress should have, as well as  who qualifies in that category.

5)Some roughness in the face area

Unlike Spider-Man's Mary Jane, Lois Lane is not a renown beauty. She's kind of average physically with a strong personality. She needs to be a tough journalist, not a lost babe in the woods. Babyfaced actresses like the last Lois don't work as well as  less obvious beauties Margot Kidder and Erica Durance.

Example:

Famke Jansen, of X-Men fame. Now, Famke may be a little old for the role(and probably still reminds people of X3), but she's got the right kind of face.

More after the jump

Son of a pitch: Small Wonders at 4:12 PM

Greeting! I have been on a bit of a self imposed exile, as I try to prove to my parents their out of control, violent, drug smoking daughter's problem isn't me. I am fluctuating between living places and well, haven't been able to blog much.

But what do I blog about? Well, how about a little idea I have for a certain languishing franchise called Wonder woman?  

Is it Party Time?

Yes, Warner, I once again rise to the occasion and use my wonderful creativity to bail you out of your design-by-comity woes. Yes, no need to thank me. Yes, I'll take that money, now.

Wonder Woman is a pop culture mainstay. Every year more than one actress tells us she'd love to take on the character. As opposed to say, Zattana, or Vixen.

Yet, she is conspicuously absent from our multitude of media. If you don't count her Justice League appearance, there was a 30+ year gap between the old TV series and the straight to video animated film. No Videogames. No Tv Animation. This is a character that DC considers part of a Trilogy of it's most important characters. Which is ridiculous, because as slow as DC and Warner have been with their films, they even managed to get Legion of Superheroes a cartoon. You know, the franchise that has Arm-Fall-Off-Boy and Bouncing Boy. 

Yeah, but an Amazon in  star spangled wear is weird

Much can be made of the Wonder Woman lore, and it often has. Originally created by a Psychologist named Charles Marston Multon, her original adventures where rather strange, but also rather smart, too, much like their originator. And while the stories played off some Psychological aspects, most people are mostly aware of the strange obsession with bondage and other sexual fetishes.

Try and count how many fethishes are going on here No, I'll wait.

After the original era ended, Wonder WOman was taken in rather strange directions(and we're talking about a character who's rogues gallery included at least 4 cross dressing women.), including fighing a giant, communnist faux asian egg, a dreaded powerless era, and even more weirdness until finally DC rebooted it's universe.

 

A giant chinese egg. Holding people with his mustache. Soak it in...

Current Wonder Woman draws a lot more on her Greek Mythology, rather than the character's own. It's no wonder, then, that DC can't get one the most recognizable Superheroine into the screen, because adapting Wonder Woman is strangely complex. For Female audiences, she can be either too brutish OR too sexy to be taken seriously. For male audiences, well, sometimes even hot women can't get them to watch a film if it's not without a good hook(see "Jennifer's Body") and while most males 20 to 40 have an idea regarding what Wonder Woman is, most of them are just thinking about  Linda Carter, and none of them can tell Cheetah from Dr Cyber. Years of media exposure made sure most people have seen SOME version of the Joker, and that's what Wonder Woman needs more than a movie, she needs exposure, of her AND her supporting cast. But how to, now that the sequel to last years awesome animated film got axed?

No, you morons!

How can you sell a feminist character that dresses in skimpy clothes? How can you get a sexual fetish fuel generating, weirdo fighting Amazon and make her work forthe mainstream.

This...

The answer is anime. ANIME!

 But more like this.

I propose an anime-inspired Wonder Woman T.V. series, and then you build up from there. I want to recommend someone other than Gendy Tartakovsky for it, but in good faith, I can't think of anyone else. Her success on Teen Titans proves she can ride the anime tropes  without going overboard with them.
Think about it! Anime has a long history of Female leads in stories, which the West could do well to learn from. Popular Anime such as Ghost in the Shell and Sailor Moon may have skirted entirely different sides of the female world, but they nonetheless do  have a good history there. As to whether a Wonder Woman  anime ends up being Ikki Tousen or Fruit Basket, well, I'm always one to call for balance.

Anime has also long been working in sexual weirdness in it's stories. I don't think I need to go on too long about this, but a lot of that stuff could be worked on more naturally within the confines of the genre.

 Her lips are devil red and her skin is the color of Mocha!

Finally, Anime is a format a lot of  young girls and women are familiar with.

Oh, stupid, am I? Search for Teen Titans on Deviant Art and tell me it's mostly COMICS fan art.  A huge part of the fanbase of that  show is females.  And It was a great show, no doubt, but it's anime roots are a lot of what made it successful with a wider range of audiences.



Warner has obviously gone nowhere with the character on the big screen, but how can they, when the character hasn't been given for the public to crave.  The bus came and went with the Justice League, but it's not too late to get the Amazing Amazon to the hearts and minds of the people. Just try that. Plant the seeds, watch them grow, then reap.

Son of a pitch: Small Wonders at 4:12 PM

Greeting! I have been on a bit of a self imposed exile, as I try to prove to my parents their out of control, violent, drug smoking daughter's problem isn't me. I am fluctuating between living places and well, haven't been able to blog much.

But what do I blog about? Well, how about a little idea I have for a certain languishing franchise called Wonder woman?  

Is it Party Time?

Yes, Warner, I once again rise to the occasion and use my wonderful creativity to bail you out of your design-by-comity woes. Yes, no need to thank me. Yes, I'll take that money, now.

Wonder Woman is a pop culture mainstay. Every year more than one actress tells us she'd love to take on the character. As opposed to say, Zattana, or Vixen.

Yet, she is conspicuously absent from our multitude of media. If you don't count her Justice League appearance, there was a 30+ year gap between the old TV series and the straight to video animated film. No Videogames. No Tv Animation. This is a character that DC considers part of a Trilogy of it's most important characters. Which is ridiculous, because as slow as DC and Warner have been with their films, they even managed to get Legion of Superheroes a cartoon. You know, the franchise that has Arm-Fall-Off-Boy and Bouncing Boy. 

Yeah, but an Amazon in  star spangled wear is weird

Much can be made of the Wonder Woman lore, and it often has. Originally created by a Psychologist named Charles Marston Multon, her original adventures where rather strange, but also rather smart, too, much like their originator. And while the stories played off some Psychological aspects, most people are mostly aware of the strange obsession with bondage and other sexual fetishes.

Try and count how many fethishes are going on here No, I'll wait.

After the original era ended, Wonder WOman was taken in rather strange directions(and we're talking about a character who's rogues gallery included at least 4 cross dressing women.), including fighing a giant, communnist faux asian egg, a dreaded powerless era, and even more weirdness until finally DC rebooted it's universe.

 

A giant chinese egg. Holding people with his mustache. Soak it in...

Current Wonder Woman draws a lot more on her Greek Mythology, rather than the character's own. It's no wonder, then, that DC can't get one the most recognizable Superheroine into the screen, because adapting Wonder Woman is strangely complex. For Female audiences, she can be either too brutish OR too sexy to be taken seriously. For male audiences, well, sometimes even hot women can't get them to watch a film if it's not without a good hook(see "Jennifer's Body") and while most males 20 to 40 have an idea regarding what Wonder Woman is, most of them are just thinking about  Linda Carter, and none of them can tell Cheetah from Dr Cyber. Years of media exposure made sure most people have seen SOME version of the Joker, and that's what Wonder Woman needs more than a movie, she needs exposure, of her AND her supporting cast. But how to, now that the sequel to last years awesome animated film got axed?

No, you morons!

How can you sell a feminist character that dresses in skimpy clothes? How can you get a sexual fetish fuel generating, weirdo fighting Amazon and make her work forthe mainstream.

This...

The answer is anime. ANIME!

 But more like this.

I propose an anime-inspired Wonder Woman T.V. series, and then you build up from there. I want to recommend someone other than Gendy Tartakovsky for it, but in good faith, I can't think of anyone else. Her success on Teen Titans proves she can ride the anime tropes  without going overboard with them.
Think about it! Anime has a long history of Female leads in stories, which the West could do well to learn from. Popular Anime such as Ghost in the Shell and Sailor Moon may have skirted entirely different sides of the female world, but they nonetheless do  have a good history there. As to whether a Wonder Woman  anime ends up being Ikki Tousen or Fruit Basket, well, I'm always one to call for balance.

Anime has also long been working in sexual weirdness in it's stories. I don't think I need to go on too long about this, but a lot of that stuff could be worked on more naturally within the confines of the genre.

 Her lips are devil red and her skin is the color of Mocha!

Finally, Anime is a format a lot of  young girls and women are familiar with.

Oh, stupid, am I? Search for Teen Titans on Deviant Art and tell me it's mostly COMICS fan art.  A huge part of the fanbase of that  show is females.  And It was a great show, no doubt, but it's anime roots are a lot of what made it successful with a wider range of audiences.



Warner has obviously gone nowhere with the character on the big screen, but how can they, when the character hasn't been given for the public to crave.  The bus came and went with the Justice League, but it's not too late to get the Amazing Amazon to the hearts and minds of the people. Just try that. Plant the seeds, watch them grow, then reap.