Irma Right, or Irma wrong? at 8:57 AM

You thought that no one would notice it if you snuck sexy Irma in there? Well...yeah, you were pretty much right.

AV Bishoujo Girl Fighting is a harder Strip Fighter 2 at 8:00 PM

Copyrights truly make the best games.

 Look, I never set out to make make Fighting Female July a month where I talk about sexualized fighting games, nor is it my belief  that such a topic having covered mostly that in it's 4 year's run  some kind of statement on women in fighting games in general. There is a lot of that, yes. A lot a lot a lot a lot. But it's not ALL of it.

In my case, at least, it's more to do with circumstance. This whole thing began when I played a few bad rounds of Seifuku Desetsu,  and before I knew it I was looking for female fighitng games of all types. I WANT to try the Melty Bloods and ?s of life, but so far I keep falling into the Variable Geos and Strip Fighters. What's a blogger to do?

So, moving forward. AV Bishojo Girl Fighting is an NES pirate game by the same team who made the old NES Pirate Street Fighter 4 and Kart Fighter. That right there could be it's own review, if you know at least a couple of the things I mentioned. NES wasn't the ideal home for fighting games, and there's a reason there's so very few of them on the system outside of illegal pirate games.

So the gimmick on this one is: girls from completely unrelated franchises, with their names mangled or completely changed, all fight for supremacy. Chun Li made it mostly unscathed. Ranma from Ranma 1/2 becomes Ramma. Sailor Mercury from Sailor Moon is now Sugico.  Tracy/Bunny from SF4 now have a 3rd Playboy Cat/Rabbit in Marry, which makes her a clone of a clone as they all come from Erina Goldsmith of Variable Geo fame.

Look, I don't know much about Ranma 1/2, but I'm pretty sure there's no Vivians there.

But that's not all that crosses over from that, a handful of stages from that made it into this, including the Royal Navy Battleship and the  Factory. Horribly enough, Marry's stage IS her old stage, Circus Car Show, but it's now switched musics with Jungle bridge stage, too. Some of these SEEM like they should be on SF4, too, such as New York(Sailor Sugico's stage, somehow)  and Taj Mahal.

Sailor Overpriced Housing!

 Characters LOOK like they're from disparate franchises, with  inconsistent sprite sizes that make some characters  look ridiculously taller than the others.

Maybe they should have called this one Capcom Fighting Jam 4.

So you got a very basic set of punches, kicks and specials. The specials can be pretty hard to pull off, and sometimes fail to actually connect, which means that you should focus on the first thing.

So you go toe to toe with these girls, and if the other girl loses a round, you generally see an image of a girl having a wardrobe malfunction, and after  the final round you will see her all naked and stuff. Pretty sure there was one where it happened backwards, though. Of note that the girls are never actually the girl you're fighting. Not even slightly.

Although, let's be fair here: neither do the vs screens most of the time.

So, as you see, this is exactly the same as Strip Fighter 2, which forces us to confront a reality in which not only did someone play SF2...but then they said "that has some good ideas, let's put them in  a NES bootleg game". It even also ends by running you through all the pics of girls you'd previously seen. Thankfully the ingame game doesn't try to be sexy, other than tarting up Chun Li and Ranma Ramma a bit. I wonder when GameS Studios is going to get on this one's case.

But then again, maybe their vision was of a ditsy drunk tourist called Jean who hangs around the Taj Mahal fighting people.

The AI of this game, though...damn. Some enemies are manageable, but my run as Shmailor Fercury had me run into some relentless characters. Playing defensive against this guys is a fool's errand. Blocking is hit and miss, specials sometimes to less damage than normals...it's pretty messy. So when the AI gets cheap the only thing you can reliably count on is constantly spamming one of the punch/kick buttons, or jumping back, and trying to hit the enemy as he/she approaches. If you get your timing right you can get their health down pretty good like this, but watch out, as after a couple of hits they get dizzy. Your first instinct is going to be to rush in and get a free hit, but don't. They ALWAYS end their dizzy state before you get there.


In terms of play, there's no multiplayer,  and the only option in options is difficulty, and even then cranked at maximum. Humorously enough, the continue screen doesn't let you continue OR quit, and you can't get out of the ending either. Oh, and if you want to get the low color hentai images, you better play the hard dificulty, too.

Vivian was later sacrificed for killing and eating Chun Li.

So basically this game is like a harder, more glitchy Strip FIghter 2. Completists might get a bit of a kick, and you may get a bit of a rise out of how bootleggy the whole thing is.(The start menu music is from Sailor Moon, and when you pick something a jingle from Sonic plays, I'm kind of surprised the New York Stage isn't ripped off from the NES TMNT Tournament fighter's better New York stage). However the game is too broken, too buggy, and too brutal to be any decent amount of fun. It also doesn't have multiplayer, so basically...no, don't play AV Bishojo. Instead, get the  version of this characters for Mugen, get in their files and change their names, and put them all in one game, and browse Hentai Foundry while  playing it. It's bound to be more balanced, have better A.I., and the porn will be better, too.

Scolding Review Dragonball Evolution at 8:02 AM

All-ah-wanna-say-issat, they don't really care about us! Aaaaaaah!

Well, well, well. We meet at last. I remember being so busy defending would be turd Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li, I barely had time to defend Dragonball. I certainly didn't want to watch it. My Dragonball experience is roughly two weeks of Z, which taught me that the franchise takes it sweet time to make stuff happen. The movie has much less time to develop an arch, yet somehow manages to waste what time it has.

The film opens to narration, but you can skip it. It's repeated wholesale later. But if you must watch it, it says that once there was an alien bad guy named Piccolo, and he and his minion Ozaru pretty much had the earth by the balls. But then some mages did a suicide spell and cast him to the center of the earth. But he just escaped. I would have liked to see the escape.

Antennae? That would look make this green skinned, pointy eared  alien named after a flute...silly...

You know, I really like James Marsters, but he's wasted on this. He doesn't get any real good moments, and doesn't even meet the heroes until the climax. It's not really a problem that he looks like he walked off  an episode of the later Star Trek series, but he's just  a dull character with  a really weak motivation, and no amount of "scary voice mod" will help with that.

Then we get to watch Goku, played by Justin Chatwin, the annoying boy from The War of the Worlds, sweat, before he gets into some elaborate choreographed fight with his grandfather. I've seen worst stunt work, but the old man has been given some terrible lines to work with.

Now, let me hunt down the elephant in the room and make some fine piano keys with it: I don't care if Justin Chatwin is white. I don't. At all. See, thing is, Goku is an alien. He COULD be Asian. Or he could  be a black guy. What in-story reason would he have to  to require being Asian of the South East variety? All this "they should have cast an Asian in the role" stuff is fairly silly to me, as if people somehow expected a Dragonball movie  made in Hollywood by Fox to be an accurate portrayal of the franchise or any good at all  let alone take some kind of high road in terms of casting. Hope in vain, true believers.

That said, Justin Chatwin is not right for the role of lead in an adventure movie ANYTHING. He needed to be upbeat, he needed to be energetic. He can't put passion and emotion onscreen here. And it's painful to see him try.

Back to the movie, grandpa wins an arousing game of "The floor is made of lava" by shooting a wave of transparent energy at  Goku. He and his grandpa proceed to bond, with Goku complaining that  stuff at school is hard, and he feels outcast and he just can't get a girl. So, hey, he's just like you, kids! He can do wirefu and shoot Mamamama energy, but he's still bullied at school! Don't you hate that?

Also, when he made this face to tell Goku to believe in himself, I quit the movie.

So then we see Goku go to high school, turning the first part of a martial arts adventure into a lame and unnecessarily cliche of bullies and classes and bullshit. But I guess the writers must have known this was trite too, so they turn the crank up on those cliches up to eleven. Goku doesn't just have bullies steal his lunch money and embarrass him. They PARK ON HIS MOTORCYCLE, DESTROYING IT(which seems like it should harm the car that does it). He doesn't just have a crush on a girl. He has visions of the girl fellating  a strawberry in a field of daisies.

Maybe they should have called it Dragonball: Subtle.

Now, usually in this stories, the hero doesn't have powers, gets bullied, then has powers. So my question is: How many fucking times would you let people bully you if you could shoot waves of energy? Let's say you have no secret other identity to speak of. Your just some misunderstood soul who happens  to have super powers and mega martial arts. What would keep you from making a big display of them?

But trouble is afoot as the evil Piccolo is using his Final Fantasy brand airship to scour the land for the 7 Dragonballs, the megamaguffins of the franchise that can grant anyone's wish once collected. He attacks some kind of asian village somewhere with his assistant, a woman who always wears magenta.

Goku decides to bail on his grandfather and his huge birthday feast in order to spend party time with Chichi, the love interest from school. So he goes to a party where everyone is, even the bullies. What is it with you Americans and going to your enemies' parties? Stay home! Go to another party!  Don't party where the people you hate are partying!

So the bullies try to murder him on sight. But Goku uses bullet time to make them  beat each other up. Having made the alpha males into beta males, he proceeds to court the female. Mating is a long process in which the thick layers of fat earned in the winter are...sorry.

Also, a bully knows how to do  a flying kick.  Super Bullying at it's best.

Essentially, this becomes, "The day Spider-Man remembered he didn't have to take shit from nobody because he wasn't a superhero and just had to beat everyone up and get the girl". He could have done this  at any point in his life. You don't even have to fight. If a guy shot an energy wave at me, and I fell down, boy, I would STAY down. They're trying so hard to sell him as a downtrodden guy, when he should at least have everyone afraid of him.

But then Piccolo just had to  try and find  Grampa's Dragonball, unaware that he had given it to Goku. You'd think a powerful whatever-he-is like Piccolo would know  who has what mythological trinket, as he doesn't seem to be tracking the Dragonballs based on rumor and speculation. So, not having found the ball he mortally wounds gramps and drops the house on him like Applebloom dropped Twist. This activates Goku's Goku-sense, and he gets there to find some cryptic talk from his grandfather, who points him out to the next useful character and then dies.

She was sweet to you, you heartless bitch!

So, free of his school duties somehow(and if I could shoot waves of energy, only parental devotion could make me stay in school, too.), Goku remains at the ruins of his former house, until Bulma Briefs, one of the most terribly named characters in anything ever, shows up  and starts an action scene. It seems she is searching for a Dragonball that was stolen from her company. However, she is mistaken about Goku and the two join forces to get to Master Roshi.

It is a good moment to point out that I don't know what this world is. It's somehow futuristic in design somewhat, but not "flying car" futuristic.  I mean, there IS a flying car, but it's an exception. Mostly it's those small, ugly European cars. I would set this future somewhere beyond Robocop, but before Starship Troopers.

Well, I know it's earth. That's about it.

So Roshi lives in an island with a San Francisco house in the middle of what looks like Neo Hong Kong. Sebulba and Goku walk in, which triggers a martial arts scene between Roshi and Goku. As far as fights go, I've seen worst, but there are two things that bother me. One is that once Goku starts punching at super speed his grunts sound silly, like Videogame spamming. And two, that Goku shoots a wave that misses Roshi and hits Bulma square in the chest...and she has no questions about that. In fact, no character is amazed or shocked at the amazing feats being performed. Like, really? You got knocked into the floor by wind coming out of a guy's hand, and  not even a "what the hell?" It's like this with Chichi too. Is this shit the norm or what? Isn't half of Dragonball people surprised at things?

So, a third party member is acquired, and this one fills the role of mentor left by whatever the old man's name was. Roshi is weird. He's over the top, but I don't get what he's even supposed to be in the first place. A crazy guy? Some kind of wacky uncle? However, I couldn't help but cast George Lopez instead of Chow Yun Fat for some reason. My mind is weird, sometimes.

Then they get to where the Temple where going, but there's a tournament there and Chichi's participating. They really want to keep her in this movie, but don't want to make her anywhere near part of the main plot. They also meet some monks, including that guy who played the black Ghostbuster. I guess he's going for serious roles now.

So our heroes travel through my favorite Dragonball environment:  huge expanse of endless desert. It's here where our heroes meet a fourth  party member:  desert thief Yamcha. And you know what? I don't even remember which one was Yamcha, but I like this dude's upbeat personality and almost cartoon like voice and delivery. This guy should have been Goku. He's probably just as known as Chatwin anyway.

Eventually they find a cave that leads into lavaland, where yet another Dragonball exists. But Piccolo sends his minions after them. They defeat them all easy .Lady in Magenta actually has  a scene in which her punches don't affect Goku.

The stakes are high!

So, she decides to attack the heart and disguises herself as Chichi using her blood because that's something she can do. She steals all the Dragonballs from under our heroes, and then actual Chichi shows up and starts kicking her. But the moves are evenly matched. Goku then has that moment in movies where there's two people that are identical but the hero doesn't know which is the real one and which one is the  impostor. I'm gonna make a gif collection of those some day.  Goku beats one down with no actual evidence but her own word and waits with his back turned until the one he saved reveals her true nature by killing him.

Also, the dress isn't part of the transformation, which leads me to the natural conclusion  Magenta scoured the malls and outlets for the same dress Chichi had and was gonna wear that night.

Goku meets his grampa in the afterlife, but then Roshi revives him. With Piccolo now having all the Dragonballs, it's on to the final act.

Pics uses his 'Balls to cause one of my favorite things to happen: Evil Geography. It's that thing where huge spires of evil rock raise from the ground, symbolizing the villains power to reshape the very earth itself. I've seen it better, but it's good here.

So Yamcha uses his now flying car to crash  into Mt Piccolo, and our heroes run upward. Vulva Girl has a shootout with Magenta, and Roshi tries to trap Piccolo in  a spell. Then the twist comes.

Speaking of Twist coming, she doesn't need you for that anymore because she's found someone else, you ungrateful hick!

Goku turns out to be Ozaru. Despite having been trapped since the days of the early Church, apparently( and really, setting Piccolo's past conquest of earth "2000 years ago?" Jesus must have fled earth when he saw him, right?)  Piccolo recast his monkey assistant as a young alien baby Manchurian Candidate that came to earth just in time for the exact event that required him to. But what little I know of DB being contradicted aside, what matters is that now the film has an excuse to put on film a  7 story high ape, one of the elements of the franchise you'd think would be too "out there" for Hollywood thinking.

Except it is too out there, because the ape is roughly the size of an NBA player. Now, putting aside the fact it's a really bad CG werewolf that happens to be an ape, think about this: The whole plot hinges on that Ozaru's return is a VERY BAD THING. It is referred to as Apocalypse.  It is key to Piccolo's return to power and that involves rivers of lava running free across the earth and the annihilation of entire countries. Now...HOW THE FUCK DOES A 7 FOOT TALL APE HELP WITH THAT? No, don't look to the movie for answers. He just chases people, poorly. Actual monkeys are scarier than that.

Also,  it looks pretty bad.

Either way, they make a Kate Beckingsale-less version of the ending  from Van Helsing, only it's Chow Yun Fat getting killed that makes Goku rediscover his  humanity.  And as such, the final fight between a powered up Goku and Piccolo ensues. It's not a bad fight. They shoot magics at each other  and fly and punch. They do the Dragonball thing, but in live action. Not excellently, but they do it. Eventually, Justin Chatwin Kamehamehas Piccolo into dust and uses the power of the Dragonballs to revive Roshi. Yamcha and Bulto get together, Chichi and Goku get together  and we even get  a hintsie that  the Piccolo I knew is gonna show up in the sequel. I can't wait to see a green James Marsters kick children on the big screen. Is it 2012 already? It is? Then I guess this movie must have been a failure and no sequel is ever coming, then!

This film is marred by bad scripting, cliché after cliché, and some pretty bad acting, especially from the lead who should be CARRYING the movie. Some of the set pieces are good and I liked the fights, but for a work inspired by Akira Toriyama's seminal stories it lacks what the source material had in spades: energy.

Scolding Review Dragonball Evolution at 8:02 AM

All-ah-wanna-say-issat, they don't really care about us! Aaaaaaah!

Well, well, well. We meet at last. I remember being so busy defending would be turd Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li, I barely had time to defend Dragonball. I certainly didn't want to watch it. My Dragonball experience is roughly two weeks of Z, which taught me that the franchise takes it sweet time to make stuff happen. The movie has much less time to develop an arch, yet somehow manages to waste what time it has.

The film opens to narration, but you can skip it. It's repeated wholesale later. But if you must watch it, it says that once there was an alien bad guy named Piccolo, and he and his minion Ozaru pretty much had the earth by the balls. But then some mages did a suicide spell and cast him to the center of the earth. But he just escaped. I would have liked to see the escape.

Antennae? That would look make this green skinned, pointy eared  alien named after a flute...silly...

And now, nature's greatest spectacle....Girl-on-Girl! at 8:23 AM

Well, set up a number system, dammit!

Honor where honor is due...

C-c-c-c-c-cuntbo breaker!

But wouldn't she already know?

Don't chew that! It's expensive!

Dhim Lives for this moments.

And now, nature's greatest spectacle....Girl-on-Girl! at 8:23 AM

Well, set up a number system, dammit!

Honor where honor is due...

C-c-c-c-c-cuntbo breaker!

But wouldn't she already know?

Don't chew that! It's expensive!

Dhim Lives for this moments.

Scolding Reviews: Battle Arena Toshinden at 9:27 AM

Way to make it seem like there's a 3 way in the movie, guys.

My ambiguous relationship with Anime aside, I do feel a little jealous of Japan. See, under a certain level of obscurity, you're never gonna see most videogames adapted here in the west. No matter how much you think Darkstalkers would make a kickass movie, the Hollywood system would prefer things with names people know like Asteroids. Meanwhile, in Japan, you kick a bush and an anime OVA of some obscure Playstation game drops out.

Fuck, even PORN fighting games get adapted!

My relationship with said game series, Battle Arena Toshinden, extends mostly to playing a Demo on Toys R Us back when...well, when it was new. I remember it had a character named Fo, which I guess was funny because of cultural reasons you don't care about.

The Anime begins with a fleet of warships  reunited to celebrate the end of the cold war. Huh?

Cold War, you say...

However, the cold war soon gets hot as a long haired super warrior begins exploding everything and killing everyone.I don't think he does it for any reason.

Maybe he doesn't believe in peace between the Cherry Bomb block and the Avocado block.

The mane-man, named Sho, hunts down and attacks the only character I remember from the game: Huge claws wielding Fo, and they have  a fight. Sho wins it when he uses the same technique as Fo.  I don't know how, since Fo's attacks involve  (for lack of a better comparison) Wolverine-ish claws and Sho uses a Katana blade. Whatever.

We finally move on to our protagonist, Discount-Store Ryu Eiji Shinjo, as he remembers how the tournament ended with a confusing fight involving a huge, Trojan Man voice Samurai named Gaia,  creepy sword licker for this show Chaos, and himself. It ends with Gaia and Chaos disappearing and  Eiji no closer to finding his brother.

Was wondering the same myself.

Wait...the tournament ended? Then what the hell is this movie about? Well, to answer that  Kayjin, the Ken to our Ryu has yet another fight with him. It's six minutes in and we are at 3 fights. If you don't like anime swordfights, rescind now. Besides friendly sword-banter, Kayjin wants to let Eiji know someone's been attacking tournament participants, and that maybe they should look into it. I don't know how there are "participants" left of a "tournament" which involve swordfighitng, but I guess it's best not to think about it...

THERE ARE NO RAYS INVOLVED IN THIS MOVE, KAYJIN.

Meanwhile, at the Hall of Doom, one of said fighters, Rungo, is forced to fight Chaos for the entertainment and enlightenment of our villain, Lady Uranus, a pompous , haughty woman dressed in increasingly silly and improbable outfits. I...have no choice...

Tell Harry...

...I'm sorry...

Also, get used to Chaos bringing up Gaia. This guy mentions Gaia more than the Planeteers.

Our heroes try to keep ahead of the nefarious and lazily named "Organization" by visiting Sofia, a fighter formerly brainwashed by Org. that now spends her days trying to remember her previous life.When she hears the Organization is "on the move" either the music gets really stupid or she drops  all the cutlery in the house.

Ain't no stoppin' them now?

While this happens, Lady Gag-me is having her Steve Jobs-like presentation of the "Man Machine Project" in the DARKEST FUCKING CONFERENCE ROOM IN THE WORLD. The stockholders, or potential investors or whatever they are can only be seen when they turn on their personal monitors. And there's a projector behind Uranus showing images of Sho wrecking the "End of the Cold War" fleet. Jesus, wasn't this on the news?

Sofia and Eiji discuss Eiji's tragic backstory, unaware that from her ANGEL SHAPED THRONE, complete with HALO, Lady Urinal is plotting to control Sofia. See, the organization did some kinds of experiments on her and now Cammy Sofia is reliable as a Manchurian candidate.

The trap is sprung as Sofia takes an obligatory sexy anime bath and visits Eiji in his room, naked. While he's distracted by all the goodness, she tries to  stab him in the neck. He jumps out the window, and when he lands, he's in full costume despite being at least shirtless inside. She jumps down, and now she's in her fight costume as well. The Fuck?

Tetas!

You see, I get WHY you're not having this two fight naked, I just don't see why you would try and have it both ways by having them naked only for them appear conveniently in costume. If you don't wanna be Ninja Scroll it's fine, just don't SET IT UP!  At any rate, Eiji defeats her, with the power of love.

Then Sho shows up. And he's all, "I don't have to explain anything , fight me!" And they fight! Sho defeats Sofia and Eiji with his magi-blasts and superior swording. So Eiji, realizing this is probably not the brother he dreams of stabbing with a sword, turns the battle around and whups Sho.

Lady Pretentious shows up in her cupid suit. The Following exchange ensues.


Eiji: Who Are you?


Lady Uranus: This has given me excellent data.


Eiji: Data? What are you talking about?


Lady Uranus: I am Lady Uranus.Everything is gone just as I had planned. Creating the Man Machine android in the form of your brother resulted in heightening your emotions to levels I've never seen before...it's so  easy to manipulate you trough your emotions! You're an amateur.


Eiji: Why you...What do you want from me?


Lady Uranus: That's for me to know!(Fades away)

After that, Eiji tends to Sofia, and wonders what is going on, despite it having been mostly told to him by Lady Ironman.

Meanwhile Not-Ken arrives at a circus to talk to Ellis, a little girl who is liable to be  the next victim of the Organization. She's practicing her knife tossing routine on her boss, when all a sudden she's distracted by Kaijin's appearance and she  misses her mark.It's funny when he's offscreen, but once we see him, she got him on the neck. He needs a medical attention!

The first episode ends with Eiji jumping off the grand canyon into the sun. I don't get it either.


Moving on from that. Ep 2 opens with Gaia fighting ninjas while Chaos sort of tells himself how awesome killing Gaia is gonna be. This real time, or a flashback? Hell if I know.

Then we see Ellis doing her knife routine. The crowd loves it, or maybe they haven't realized they are watching a little girl in a cleavage exposing, junk riding swimsuit. Goddamn it, Japan.

I mean, I know your women peak early, but at least wait until puberty...

After the show, the gets debriefed on the Man Machine Project and how they probably want to get to her too, to study her data. I just hope lady Uranus would put the data of the fighters into something cooler than  stupid, Chai-like  Chaos. Like Sunglasses.

Of course, then they pretend to leave so that she can have a fight with perverted, blade-licking Chaos. Because Japan likes the idea of a blade licking pervert fighting a pre-teen in chest exposing beachwear. Eventually though, they do step in, but Chaos reveals he's a much betterer super fighter than the last one, who was only fighting at 30% power. Fuckin' power levels, this isn't the Scruffydragon Forums!

So Chaos beats them, and is about to hopefully just kidnap the girl and kill her, when Gaia intervenes. Gaia handles Chaos pretty well, until Chaos, inspired by the best, burps noxious green gas into Gaia's face. He seems to not be bothered by this but Ellis(who is his daughter) doesn't seem to know, as she jumps into the cloud to save him. Sure enough, she get poisoned, and it's a poison only Lady Urawhore can cure in her lair. They invite  Gaia to an obvious trap in the headquarters of the organization.

They rush Ellis to the hospital, where a cop lady with blue hair in a skanky outfit gives them grief about their story, which apparently involves them fighting a stray dog.

Officer, is this a porn movie or am I in trouble?

Meanwhile, an attack on a military base is seen on the news, with the anchor wondering who it could have been. Didn't he read the news?

That Alien Fiend's plans won't go unopposed...

Anyway all points converge at the Headquarters of the Organization, As Lady Cop, Sofia, Eiji and Kaijin  head there. The HQ is seemingly a mountain with two towers set  above it. Also, Ninja are everywhere and try to stop them. Eiji and Kayjin leave the women behind to fight the mooks while they split up between the towers. Eventually, they run into what they should have expected.

Bullet...FIYA!

But wait, a Samurai guy makes the save! He's here to help! And the guy we last saw choking in his own blood at Casa Organization! He's also here to help! And also some knight guy with the cliche bullshit about beating Eiji first! And Fo! Is anyone missing?

Sekretary! You did come!(Heroic music)

Lady Uranus seems pretty certain this is no big concern, but then  Gaia shows up at her room and they talk while Chaos blathers on in the background. Lady Overdressed tells Gaia the final phase of the project is the removal of all thoughts that aren't fighting. That seems...impractical. You're not creating guard dogs, lady, you're creating Super Soldiers. Although a guard dog that only attacked would make a poor guard dog.

So, what can I do to send you home with a blade licking murderous pervert who screams "Gaia" all the time and can only  think of fighting?

Eventually, though, Chaos and Gaia engage in combat. Kayji finds the building where Gaia and  Chaos are fighting, while Eiji finds the Man Machin incubation centre. He blows it up and  does a pretty impossible stunt to get to the other building.

While the supporting cast show off their incredibly stupid special move names, Eiji and Kayjin and Gaia cannot beat Chaos using theirs because he's programmed to react to them. So they switch moves around and start doing each other's moves, which  he does not expect. This eventually wins the day as Eiji does a hyper uppercut in the air and orgasms Chaos into exploding..

DISAPPOINTED FIRST NIGHT OF SEX TOGETHER FOLLOWED BY 4 YEARS OF BITTERNESS! FLASH!

However, despite being overwhelmed by Eiji, Kayjin, Gaia, and  a sudden appearance by Sho, Lady Ur-a-nut manages to slowly fly away to make more stupidly named things.

All the heroes reunite and laugh at the fact that they worked together now, but in the next Toshin Tournament, some dumbass is going to get stabbed. Also, Ellis wakes up to our lead Shotos as her father gave her the medicine, but left. Eventually Eiji wanders into the promise of a sequel and the movie ends.

"Because we're all in this together..."

This anime is...not bad. It's sort of a poor man's Street Fighter 2 anime, but hey, you've already seen that a million times. While it certainly isn't innovative or amazing, it's good for a watch or two. It's fairly well done for an Anime based on some game no one ever cared about, and while it's pretty much going through the motions, there are certainly worst Anime out there.