Leaked in Early Secrets- Marvel's Dark, Tall, TALL new villain at 10:54 AM

We are so fuckin' spoiled these days...

Who didn't enjoy Marvel's Avengers movie? I'll tell you: that stupid crazy guy my brother gat paid to haul around. He's always asking if Ron Jeremy is in the Avengers. Dude, get help!

But that aside, everyone liked it, it made industrials amount of money before we even touch merchandising, and all is well in Marvel Land. Except for the books, those aren't selling.

Pachinko Wolverine is still not happy, though.

But you did not come to hear what you know, but Leaked in Early Secrets (my doctor said I should shorten it to L.I.E.S. so I don't get carpal tunnel syndrom. I don't remember if she said it while I did her and her sexy nurse at the same time, or after.) And so, get ready to hear the real, nonest for real future truth about the Marvel Universe.

If Fox doesn't start filming Daredevil anything by October 10, the rights to Daredevil return to Marvel, where  unless marvel stops making money and they sell it, it shall stay until the mountains wither and the rivers stop. And so, Marvel is already eyeing  the juicy, fruitful Daredevil fanchise for a future movie, right?

Oh, no! Marvel already has all the movies it needs set up to come out in the next few years. And let's face it, If Marvel wanted a street level hero, they've plenty of choice.

No the real sweet part of the deal is bringing back from the diaspora Daredevil's supporting cast. Guys like Kingpin, Bullseye The Hand, Elektra, and other's such have great applications within the movies and stories Marvel is already doing. So where am I going, exactly?

Jennifer Garner is cool, but crude, and Ben Affle-eck, is a party dude!

Well, I tilted my antenna just north of south(I'm bein litterall, I have antenna on my head), and I hear from my sources that whatever preliminary story work on Avengers 2 is being reworked to this new possibility. Thanos is being relegated to the Guardians of the Galaxy, and instead, the main badguy for Avengers is set to be the BIGGEST THREAT OF ALL! A REAL TALL ORDER OF A NASTY! THE ONE WHO LOOKS DOWN ON ALL THE HEROES! STILT-MAN!

Coming this Fall...

Wilbur Day, is a scientists assistant, who steals the invention and uses it to steal even more as the Stiltman, having incredible heights, enhanced durability, and affecting the probablity field of carnivals to make them less boring.

At the end of Captain America 2 they already have a teaser planned out, where Bucky, Cap and The Falcon are enjoying themselves at a circus, when they sort of look up and the ominous shadow of the Stiltman looms over them. There's gonna be a scene in Ironman where Tony Stark is making out with Pepper Potts in the 5th Floor of a hotel, and  STILT-MAN'S HEAD CAN BE SEEN PASSING BY THE WINDOW, UNCONCERNED!

Course, at the end of Avengers 2 Stilt-man calls into a Helicarrier's Intake and explodes, and we see his  funeral, we get a glimpse of his wife, and the following exchange ensues:


Maria Hill: Excuse me, lady? 

Glenda Day: "Lady?"

Maria Hill: We have questions about your husband, Stilt-man.

Glenda Wise: My husband's name was Wilbur day.

Maria Hill: He killed Black Panther and died a monster, lady. He was a monster.

Glenda Day: And I was his wife.  Ms Stilt-Man. Lady Stilt-man!


Wowser! Are yo excited, cuz I'm excited! It's unbelievable.  I mean, hardly believable at all. So great! And so, remember: I cannot tell a lie, but I can tell  many L.I.E.S.! Batzarro AWAY!

Leaked in Early Secrets- Marvel's Dark, Tall, TALL new villain at 10:54 AM

We are so fuckin' spoiled these days...

Who didn't enjoy Marvel's Avengers movie? I'll tell you: that stupid crazy guy my brother gat paid to haul around. He's always asking if Ron Jeremy is in the Avengers. Dude, get help!

But that aside, everyone liked it, it made industrials amount of money before we even touch merchandising, and all is well in Marvel Land. Except for the books, those aren't selling.

Pachinko Wolverine is still not happy, though.

But you did not come to hear what you know, but Leaked in Early Secrets (my doctor said I should shorten it to L.I.E.S. so I don't get carpal tunnel syndrom. I don't remember if she said it while I did her and her sexy nurse at the same time, or after.) And so, get ready to hear the real, nonest for real future truth about the Marvel Universe.

If Fox doesn't start filming Daredevil anything by October 10, the rights to Daredevil return to Marvel, where  unless marvel stops making money and they sell it, it shall stay until the mountains wither and the rivers stop. And so, Marvel is already eyeing  the juicy, fruitful Daredevil fanchise for a future movie, right?

Oh, no! Marvel already has all the movies it needs set up to come out in the next few years. And let's face it, If Marvel wanted a street level hero, they've plenty of choice.

No the real sweet part of the deal is bringing back from the diaspora Daredevil's supporting cast. Guys like Kingpin, Bullseye The Hand, Elektra, and other's such have great applications within the movies and stories Marvel is already doing. So where am I going, exactly?

Jennifer Garner is cool, but crude, and Ben Affle-eck, is a party dude!

Well, I tilted my antenna just north of south(I'm bein litterall, I have antenna on my head), and I hear from my sources that whatever preliminary story work on Avengers 2 is being reworked to this new possibility. Thanos is being relegated to the Guardians of the Galaxy, and instead, the main badguy for Avengers is set to be the BIGGEST THREAT OF ALL! A REAL TALL ORDER OF A NASTY! THE ONE WHO LOOKS DOWN ON ALL THE HEROES! STILT-MAN!

DC's Plain Ketchup at 12:43 PM

Dollar! The ALL-MIGHTY!

I hate to say I told you so. Wait, no. Love. I love to say it.

So, my good DC fans, I told you so. We debated for 5 years whether a Justice League film was better if built up by individual movies. Sure, the matter is mostly out of our controls. But did not a wiseman say all is in vain?

You guys said a Justice League movie bombing could kill the chances of solo films. So how did that go? Did you enjoy your Jonah Hex and Green Lantern solo films not leading into a single film? Where the theoretical solo films in jeopardy if it bombed? You know the answer to this one.

I told you so. I told if anything had a chance at existance at Dc it was a single strong solo film. I told you if the movies had not existed yet, it was reasonable not to expect them in the future.

Now WB  has suddenly stumbled out of bed, slobber rolling out the mouth.  "Whu..., a Billion dollars? I NEVER expected a well done and marketed movie with popular characters to make money! Do we have some of those characters?"

Oh, please pretend this recent slew of announcements isnt related to Marvel and Joss Whedons excellent Avengers. It's something that they started writting a while ago, they say. THING IS, at this point after the initial cancellation of Justice League : Mortal, there have been so many movies in writting phase its obvious it isnt a problem with capacity, but desire. WB doesn't need to have it's own Avengers. Did the Dark Knight not make them  a bunchload of cash?

I knew this baby would come in handy someday.

You guys got what you wanted, but lost what you had.I did tell you so.

So WB is calling me toos. Hell, I wanted to cash in on Avengers too. Whats the plan? Well, they'll fast track a movie with Lobo starring the The Rock. Then Shazam, also starring The Rock probably. That one won't happen.

At least we'll always have the rage...(snif)

A Wonder Woman movie script will join the pile. Flash might get made. Then Avengers 2 will come out, and once again industrial amounts of wishful thinking will fall out of WB regarding Justice League. And we get to do this all over again.

DC's Plain Ketchup at 12:43 PM

Dollar! The ALL-MIGHTY!

I hate to say I told you so. Wait, no. Love. I love to say it.

So, my good DC fans, I told you so. We debated for 5 years whether a Justice League film was better if built up by individual movies. Sure, the matter is mostly out of our controls. But did not a wiseman say all is in vain?

You guys said a Justice League movie bombing could kill the chances of solo films. So how did that go? Did you enjoy your Jonah Hex and Green Lantern solo films not leading into a single film? Where the theoretical solo films in jeopardy if it bombed? You know the answer to this one.

I told you so. I told if anything had a chance at existance at Dc it was a single strong solo film. I told you if the movies had not existed yet, it was reasonable not to expect them in the future.

Now WB  has suddenly stumbled out of bed, slobber rolling out the mouth.  "Whu..., a Billion dollars? I NEVER expected a well done and marketed movie with popular characters to make money! Do we have some of those characters?"

Oh, please pretend this recent slew of announcements isnt related to Marvel and Joss Whedons excellent Avengers. It's something that they started writting a while ago, they say. THING IS, at this point after the initial cancellation of Justice League : Mortal, there have been so many movies in writting phase its obvious it isnt a problem with capacity, but desire. WB doesn't need to have it's own Avengers. Did the Dark Knight not make them  a bunchload of cash?

I knew this baby would come in handy someday.

You guys got what you wanted, but lost what you had.I did tell you so.

So WB is calling me toos. Hell, I wanted to cash in on Avengers too. Whats the plan? Well, they'll fast track a movie with Lobo starring the The Rock. Then Shazam, also starring The Rock probably. That one won't happen.

At least we'll always have the rage...(snif)

A Wonder Woman movie script will join the pile. Flash might get made. Then Avengers 2 will come out, and once again industrial amounts of wishful thinking will fall out of WB regarding Justice League. And we get to do this all over again.

This is how we doooo it! at 3:02 PM

Step Up 2 the Marvel Universe!

This is how we doooo it! at 3:02 PM

Step Up 2 the Marvel Universe!

Nick Furry: Agent of Y.I.F.F. at 9:05 PM

Can't make a furrier version of the Hoff Nick Fury...

Nick Furry: Agent of Y.I.F.F. at 9:05 PM

Can't make a furrier version of the Hoff Nick Fury...

Public Domain Avengers: Assemble! at 11:12 PM

Then that legend is accidentally dropped.

 Inspired by Asylum's upcoming The Almighty Thor's awesome, blatant cash in on Marvel's Thor, I decided I should prepare to cash in on the future Avenger's film by exploiting tangentially similar public domain(with help from the public Domain Superheroes wiki) character's into  my own super team, the Arrangers!! Rollcall!

You know, WW2 came upon because of complex socioeconomic things that don't matter when Hitler is being punched.

Captain Courageous!(Not Captain America)

Oh, the irony! Many adopted the measly rank of captain to dip into Steve Rogers' action during WW2. There are no limit of the options I could use, and many of them are already walking American flags., however, I'm going with Captain C because he's actually driven by  "the spirit of courage", and apparent metaphysical manifestation of bravery that possesses people and gives them Superpowers.

Not licenced to drive, but already handling deathmechs.

Scoot Suit Sammy!(Who is not Ironman)

We've seen what it would be like if a smarmy Howard Hughes impersonator built a robot suit, but not everyone can build their own armor. Enter Scoot Suit Sammy, a young boy who's uncle is smart enough to build flight enabling super armor, dumb enough to make it  only in kid size, and crazy enough to give it to a member of his family. 

He calls them "love handles"

Double Devil!(Who is not only not Hawkeye, but is not Daredevil even though that's totally his name!)

A mute man who wields the deadliest of weapons! The Boomerang!  Filling in the "you know we invented guns already, right?" spot for Hawkeye is Daredevil! Not much of a talker, but he's good with comebacks!

Can anyone help me? My Godzilla costume is melting!

Creature(Not Hulk if it tried to be)

Creature is a..uh...creature from space that brought only trouble and the military was out to get him. Damn, If only Neutro was Public DOmain...

W.i.R. does not stand for idle chatter!

Woman in Red!(who by the way? Not Black Widow)

Woman in Red is a vigilante woman who wears face concealing technology known as "a domino mask and a hood", It's like they knew what  the combination of cowardice and low budget would look like on Superheroes some day.

Is that where the bodies are, Santa?

Santa Claus(not Thor)

Nobody actually ever legally owned Thor: it's a myth from ancient times! Know what else is a myth from ancient times? Santa Claus(also, your mom.)

Seriously, Saint Nick as a hero would be balls awesome. A kick ass adventurous who is also generous and good to children. Who would refuse St. Nick membership to a super hero group?

Spider=Cape?

"You'll be in stitches!"

As a bonus ripoff, I'll throw in Doll Girl and Spider Queen  filling a spot for snubbed Avengers Antman and Wasp. Spider Queen is awesome because she invented pretty much Spider-Man's web shooters and web. So when Marvel's lawyers come over, you can have a good laugh about how you totally got the idea from the public domain.

So where's my 5 thousand dollars to film it?

Public Domain Avengers: Assemble! at 11:12 PM

Then that legend is accidentally dropped.

 Inspired by Asylum's upcoming The Almighty Thor's awesome, blatant cash in on Marvel's Thor, I decided I should prepare to cash in on the future Avenger's film by exploiting tangentially similar public domain(with help from the public Domain Superheroes wiki) character's into  my own super team, the Arrangers!! Rollcall!

You know, WW2 came upon because of complex socioeconomic things that don't matter when Hitler is being punched.

Captain Courageous!(Not Captain America)

Oh, the irony! Many adopted the measly rank of captain to dip into Steve Rogers' action during WW2. There are no limit of the options I could use, and many of them are already walking American flags., however, I'm going with Captain C because he's actually driven by  "the spirit of courage", and apparent metaphysical manifestation of bravery that possesses people and gives them Superpowers.

Not licenced to drive, but already handling deathmechs.

Scoot Suit Sammy!(Who is not Ironman)

We've seen what it would be like if a smarmy Howard Hughes impersonator built a robot suit, but not everyone can build their own armor. Enter Scoot Suit Sammy, a young boy who's uncle is smart enough to build flight enabling super armor, dumb enough to make it  only in kid size, and crazy enough to give it to a member of his family. 

He calls them "love handles"

Double Devil!(Who is not only not Hawkeye, but is not Daredevil even though that's totally his name!)

A mute man who wields the deadliest of weapons! The Boomerang!  Filling in the "you know we invented guns already, right?" spot for Hawkeye is Daredevil! Not much of a talker, but he's good with comebacks!

Can anyone help me? My Godzilla costume is melting!

Creature(Not Hulk if it tried to be)

Creature is a..uh...creature from space that brought only trouble and the military was out to get him. Damn, If only Neutro was Public DOmain...

W.i.R. does not stand for idle chatter!

Woman in Red!(who by the way? Not Black Widow)

Woman in Red is a vigilante woman who wears face concealing technology known as "a domino mask and a hood", It's like they knew what  the combination of cowardice and low budget would look like on Superheroes some day.

Is that where the bodies are, Santa?

Santa Claus(not Thor)

Nobody actually ever legally owned Thor: it's a myth from ancient times! Know what else is a myth from ancient times? Santa Claus(also, your mom.)

Seriously, Saint Nick as a hero would be balls awesome. A kick ass adventurous who is also generous and good to children. Who would refuse St. Nick membership to a super hero group?

Spider=Cape?

"You'll be in stitches!"

As a bonus ripoff, I'll throw in Doll Girl and Spider Queen  filling a spot for snubbed Avengers Antman and Wasp. Spider Queen is awesome because she invented pretty much Spider-Man's web shooters and web. So when Marvel's lawyers come over, you can have a good laugh about how you totally got the idea from the public domain.

So where's my 5 thousand dollars to film it?