Horrendous Theory: Birthday Girl at 9:35 AM

If you're anything like me, you like watching kids cartoons and making up insane postmodernist assumptions about the characters involved. Hey, it's a gift. Though I'm not the kind of person to actually believe this theories, but I definitively like thinking them.

As you may have also notice, I've kind of taken a liking to the PBS show Wordgirl. It's a show that's quicker, smarter and funnier than lot's of stuff out there. But is it secretly hinting at something darker? Let us see!

This(second part) episode focuses on Eileen, a girl who grows in size whenever she really wants something, and Wordgirl and her overly chill friend Violet  must rescue Wordgirl's sidekick Bob. 

Unless you where too busy thinking that Violet was a stoner lesbian kid, you missed a very sad story of genetical engineering and death.



Eileen, what is her origin? The show doesn't SEEM to tell us, but I think I kind I know.You need to read between the lines.

Name: Eileen=Alien(Yeah, not the first time I've seen THIS nameplay.)

Claims everyday is her birthday and she loves gold stars. This last part is important, because she doesn't seem to go to the same(or any) school as our protagonists.

Her house seems uninhabited, and no adults claim her as a daughter, despite the fact she destroys most of the town.

So here's my theory: It all started 10 years ago. In some lab outside Preposterocity (yes, that's the name of the town. Don't wear it out:) the military industrial complex is attempting to mix human DNA with that of aliens from another planet. This particular aliens are able to increase their mass to show dominance, and are telepathically linked to those of their own species as well. A whole batch of clones where created, though, based on the DNA of one scientist. Let's call her Dr Helen.

DR Helen managed to get the right DNA mixture of human and aliens, which resulted in children who are able to increase in size when they get  a goal in their mind, and also develop and learn  in ridiculous amounts of time. A baby can develop into a preteen in 6 months. But they don't live much beyond that. Helen, and the folks at the Military industrial Complex want to know exactly what practical combat applications a giant preteen can have. So when clones his a certain mark, they take one them out of stasis, implant memories and put pretty dresses on her, then let her loose on the city. They know it will lead to the subject getting all agitated and turning, which will make Wordgirl fight her.


 At the end of the day, the body begins to fail. The alien DNA rejects the human DNA, and she dies. Then the cover-up happens, as she is thought to go "home"(she's never shown to be convicted, in a show where "Energy Monster" is.)

And a couple of months later a new clone is let loose. She possesses some memory of past events, but has no concept of time. She thinks it's her birthday.

It really Is her birthday everyday: She was born out of a capsule under the watchfull eye of her "Mommy" DR Helen. The gold stars remind her of  the military men she sees earlier in the day, and of her home planet across space. She is blissfully unaware of her status as an abomination, a product of science and a doomed life.

Or maybe I read too much into it.