Them's Fightin' Nerds!

On Podcast Numero Uno I tackle the issue of the day: AVGN, Hero, or Menace?

I like to hear from my fans, which is what you'll be doing if you listen to this because it is hot as hogs in here.

For the full, sexist review of Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li, go he-arr.

Always respect the author's will



By Watching the above video you are agreeing  with the following terms and conditions:

1)You, the watcher, agrees to pay a stipend to the creator of 100$(U.S.) payable to the Paypal account of the author.

2) You, the watcher, agree to only ever speak regarding this video in positive terms, while also standing on one(1) leg.

In case of disagreement with any of the points I make, regardless if it is done on one leg, you agree to remove one(1) of your toes, should you have any toes.

In case of agreement while failing to jump on one leg, you agree to remove one(1) of your fingers, should there be any to.

3) You shall deliver to me any firstborn children, male or female, that you happen to have. To deliver them, you should build a barge out of oak, and seal it with your own earwax. You shall use the barge to sail to the Island of Puerto Rico, where said baby  shall be delivered, alive, to my doorstep. The boys shall be raised as freaks and mutants in my secret sewers. The girls shall be sacrificed to Snarko, the Faceticious Dragon.

4) This video is only meant to be watched in Countries with Z in their name, by people named either Eartha or McTalion


5) That every morning that you wake up and do not recall dreaming that you were ravaged by me, you shall whip yourself 400 lashes while reciting the theme from Extreme Dinosaurs. This includes non song vocalizations like "let's fossilize them".





If you fail to follow any of the terms, and still watch all or part of the video, you are depriving me of my fairly earned money and...babies. It's robbing. Please turn yourself to the authorities, and should they refuse to arrest you, rob something so they have something to arrest you over. Ok? Ok.

Third time's the 'Jam.





You guys know I Love Myself some public domain stuff. especially when there's a chance for me to show off. what happened in 2014  A Games  Jam, hosted by Gritfish. the theme of which was public domain characters and stories. there was only a problem : by the time I found out about it it was already over.

I tried to create my own later that year. Nobody participated. next year there was another public domain Jam, which I was ready to participate in but alas I was unable to.


Now that I realize that this is a yearly event I have been able to anticipate that the next one will take place in less than a week. The third annual public domain game Jam House being announced and I'm letting you  know my intention to participate in it .

 I also would like to announce that whatever my entry  will be my characters and stories will come from public domain comics. This subject is so obscure that not even the Jam's host, whose mission is to try to make people aware that there are works in the public domain beyond zombies, is not aware of them. I will also like to say this so that if you are considering to enter please do so. I know I have a bug up my butt about public domain and copyright and stuff like that but it's important. And I guess there are the prizes too. I'd do it for free, but if they're handing out 1000 $ like last year, that's cool. Daddy litterally needs himself some new shoes.

BGE Investigates: Do Cartridges Blow?

I've played Knight Rider. It's not that good.


Sometimes, decisions are made, which change the course of history. But oftentimes this decisions are intrinsically tied to the time they where taken, and must be reevaluated as time moves on.


For example, when the American Constitution wa written, the possibility of a foreign country invading was real, and the possibility of "somebody shooting up a school 6 times a year" was not.  So they put in the constitution that people had a right to bear arms. Even now people wrestle with the idea of how to apply this to a modern world where America is the largest superpower in the world, and outbursts of randomly directed violence need to be treated.


But anyway, videogames made one of those changes years ago. It's kind of legend, now, really. For years, the primary format for home console games where cartridges. You know, these things?


Hardy plastic shells holding within them a microchip within it. During those early days of console gaming, cartridges where really the most practical format for games, but  not without their limitations. Specifically, size. The higher echelons of space an N64 cart could hold was 64 Megabites.  That sucks. That's a couple of MP3s low quality MP3s.


So, as gaming systems wanted even more specs to compete with the PC's fancy CD Roms, they began chasing the compact disc dragon, to mostly their own demise.  Sega's Sega CD, the Turbo Graphx CD, Jaguar CD all went nowhere, but they belonged to consoles and companies destined for nowhere.


Where they failed, Nintendo would succeed. They partnerered with Sony, who knew somethings about the subject. But for whatever reason, Nintendo left  Sony to try and work a CD deal with Phillips.


The rest is history. Sony went on to make the Playstation, which would go unchallenged for over a decade, Phillips would go on to make godawful games based on Nintendo stuff that fuel Youtube Poops to this day, and Nintendo had one more cartridge console before caving in with the Gamecube and finally doing disc type games.
You just missed out on this, Nintendo.

Everywhere else, CDs, and later DVDs and Blu-rays would go on to dominate gaming. It was clear that cartridges where out, and Shiny, spin-ey things where in. It didn't hurt that they where dirt cheap to make.


But whereas in the old days the advantage of Discs over cartidges where more obvious, I think it's worth a second look.


Disc's key advantage in the olden days, that of playing what was known as "Full motin video" and "High Quality pre-recorded audio" is practically all but gone, as AAA titles are rapidly embracing installs and other such things. There is little reason to believe now that only a disc could give you quick and crisp images, as you can put a full movie in a USB drive in any half hearted PC rig and it'll run like gangbusters.


Not that Full motion video carries all that much importance, anymore. The graphics in-engine have outgrown the need for a pre-rendered video that the machine itself would not be able to run. Unless you are using cell animation or live action bits in your game, you mostly aren't gonna be using that.


Space is another area where gaming has outgrown what discs could do.Well, discs have outgrown what gaming needs, anyway. Most games out there do not fill up their Blu Rays and DVDs, so the idea that developers are being constrained by that is hilarious, even more so when while USB drive storage capacity has increased while maintaining compatibility, they aren't making any larger sized BluRays in the middle of the PS4's existance. It's as big as it'll ever be.


One advantage that Carts have over Disc technology is that it's a little harder to pirate. They aren't making  a machine out there that burns cartridges, you know?


And another one would be the ability to update the game. DLC is a big deal, now, so the ability to take your downloaded goods to someone else's machine seems like a pretty advantageous affair. In game saves, and other such neatness.



Durability is another factor. As anyone who's seen their MVC2 GD turn into one of those translucent discs from a recordable CD tower will tell you, discs aren't as hardy as you'd hope


One need only look at the portable console marked, where the complete incapacity to make smaller discs has allowed cartridges to live on, to see the results. Despite these carts being smaller than  any during the cartridge heyday, they still produce images and sound quality that  surpasses the last great cartridge home consoles, and still give the PSX and Saturn a run for their money.

Build-A-Bear Workshop is no Knight Rider.

I am not so naive to think console makers are willing to go back, as they are currently chasing  a new dragon, one of digital streaming. Invariably, there will be positive elements (uh...near impiracibility?) and negative ones (always having to be connected to the Internet). The console makers of today aren't really console makers, but corporate entities who see consoles  as chess pieces to their overall endgame(though it is hilarious to see Microsoft's plans to own the living room be whisked away by cellphones and tablets.). Sony may or may not consider Blu Ray the superior physical media, but it sure would come in handy to them, the MAKERS of Blu Ray, if their new console sold this format to the public.


That's alright. But I think they ought to, if only for a bit. This article was mostly written before the rumor that Nintendo is going back to carts cropped up, but if it's true...it's a good sign.

Whose Side are You ON: The Adventures of The American Rabbit

 Thanks to Captain Planet and the Planeteers, the gap between the teams has been bridged. 96-love. There is only one hero who can possibly  decide The Civil War.

The Adventures of The American Rabbit

Breakdown

What if you had, one chance, one opportunity? Would you capture it? Or just let is slip-SHIT, that's not the right Rabbit.

The American Rabbit is a star spangled rodent who inherits his powers rather than fall into them. When he runs really fast he can transform into The American Rabbit!

Danger Assesment

The Rabbit's main powers are speed and flight. However, he needs to catch a  lot of momentum before he can transform,  he can be stopped.

3

Where would they stand.


With the vagueness of the story and the hero being what he is, I can picture him perfectly siding with Cap just because he's a little patriotic.  Also, his hometown is protected by magic, so he's obviously concerned for his parents.

reg 96
antireg 99

99!Winner!
96! Loser!

 We've done it! We have a winner! Captain America and his team of rogue heroes would win out in this scenario. Ironman can get some pretty powerful people on his side, but then again one of the most iconic elements of the superhero vs other archetypes is the secret identity, and, despite what Facebook might be letting you believe, there's still some people who value their privacy.


 Again, if you don't believe that the guy with Blankman on his side could beat the guys with Hancock on his side, remember that this has been highly accurate speculation regarding fictional characters, and you can't prove otherwise. You can't prove that I only know about some of these guys from a skim through TV Tropes!


Who's on your fictional Civil War  list?


Whose Side are You ON: Captain Planet and the Planeteers

 Last time, things got a bit dark with Darkman. Time to clean up!

Captain Planet and the Planeteers

Breakdown
When the spirit of the Earth gets tired of being fucked around with, it gives 5 teenagers  magic rings to sort out Earth's Enviromental problems. When their individual powers won't cut it, they put them all toghether and

call Captain Planet, a single dude with all their powers.

Danger Assesment
The 5 rings give the Planeteers control over a different element: Fire, Earth, WInd, Water and deadliest of all, Heart. Sure, Heart, doesn't sound deadly, but it allows controll over animals. If you can control a fawn, you

can control a germ. If you can control a germ, you can fill someone's cerebellum with pus in short order.

Being nice kids, they don't use their powers to their ultimate, violent conclusions.

Theis combined powers creates Captain Planet, who can lift a building, but can be stopped if you throw a garbage bag at him.

4


Where would they stand.


Hard to say.  Tony Stark spent the better part of his life as a Captain Planet villain, basically, but after his turnaround he did create free clean energy, apparently. However, as lovey, dovey goody two shoes they'd

probably agree that regulating powers is for the best. The power is YOURS (Iron Man)




96

 96

1 round to go, and we´re on a tie! This is amazing! I know you have no reason to believe me, but I did not set it up to be this way! Who is going to be our tiebreaker Who is going to be our decider? Well, find out?

Whose Side are You ON: Darkman


Time to recap, before we move on to our decider of the whole thing: Dark man

Darkman

Breakdown
A scientist was horribly deformed during  a sabotaged experiment. He took to hiding in the sewers, disguising his face with a special plaster and getting back at those who wronged him.

Danger Assesment
 What Darkman lacks in actual powers, he makes up for in planning. He's known to set up elaborate traps and ruses, which is something that could turn the tide of a war.

3


Where would they stand.
Darkman understands the usefulness of anonymity for a crimefighter. He's on Team America. Except when he skillfully passes himself of as  Black Widow to get the inside scoop.




92

 96
 
Team Tony is losing and Team Caps is winning! Only 2 more rounds to go!

What are you guys watching?