Nothing to fear but Fur itself

Equality my ass.
They're coming for you...

Catwoman's Cancelled Movie, De-scripted! Part Dos!

Guess who's back? Back again? Captain God is back! Tell your friends! Yes, it's the return of the series 20 years in the making where I go over Catwoman, not as it happened, but as it could have!

Though I deeply regret not having put more graphics on it, I sincerely hope you enjoy it!

So much swimming, to die on the shore

>is mentioned<

>And if you're<

I'm sorry Lindsay. You turned off the comments to avoid the conspiracy nuts and it was a noble effort. But Youtube just won't let it.

Open letter to Congress

The Fiscal Control Board's congressional task force has sent out a request to see what people think are some of the issues in Puerto Rico that ought to be tackled. Because in Congress, even a task force has it's own  task force, I guess.

Rather than tell them "vayanse al carajo canto de mama bicho hijo de la gran puta pendejo"  and all those raw Puerto Rican feelings I have about it all, I made an orderly letter. It is as follows.

Oh, now. NOW you want to know what we think. You spent months putting P.R.O.M.E.S.A in place, and only in the end do you think that maybe the people who are going to be under this dictatorial board ideated by an enviromental subcomitee might have some insight to this whole thing?

Sigh. Lucky for you, I am a blogger, so I'm already used to doling out words that will never be read, and even if read won't be heeded. Here's some things that could boost our economy. So instead of wasting time telling you what you are, here's some key areas to boost the economy.

The 936 laws that were removed basically killed our economy. So the most obvious thing to do is put them(or something similar) back in place.
The Marine Merchant laws that used to apply to Puerto Rico but suddenly didn't, could also be changed.

The single public electric company's corruption somehow bankrupted a monopoly. The high cost of power in the island is one of the things that makes having a business harder.  The sad truth is it must be opened to competition.

Tourism is a potential revenue source for the island, but currently  the island's tourism is centered in the island's capital San Juan, when there's plenty to see in the rest of the island. De-centralize tourism. This should have been  done years ago, but it wasn't.

Corruption is certainly an issue, as I'm sure some others will tell you. Cronyism, contracts to friends in government, divertion of public funds, and other nastinesses has permeated the local government and become basically acceptable. While I don't believe the Fiscal Control Board is here to do that, It IS something that should be changed.

The island's political status is at the heart of it all. While the local parties all have wild dreams of the benefits of state hood and independence, it is undeniable that being yoked by congress is the source of the major problems in Puerto Rico's economy and government. To be, or not to be, is the question.

So there you have it.

P.R.O.M.E.S.A. has killed all my faith in America. You moved us from 2nd class citizens to third class citizens. It attempts to solve problems that are rooted in colonialism with more colonialism. You hurt us. This hurts.

In a few years we will see what an unnacountable group of people can do for an island they know nothing about. Some of them may even be chosen by Mr Celebrity Apprentice! And in those days, if any of you is capable of feeling shame, you should apologize.

You too, can tell Congress to suck your bicho here.

Irma Right, or Irma wrong?

Both shows are basically the same, I assume.
You thought that no one would notice it if you snuck sexy Irma in there? Well...yeah, you were pretty much right.

Unlicenced Lawyer: Sonic's Buddies

Thanks, sonicthehedgehogbg, for this image. You forgot Fang the Sniper.

So, Sonic's been  a topic lately. What, with the whole 2 new Sonic games


But there's something I noticed on the trailer to Sonic Mania, the

throwbackies of throwbacks who couldn't  be more of a throwback if it

actually zapped us into 7 year olds all over again: The cast.

The trailer boasts 3 playable characters: Sonic(yeah, no duh), Tails and

Knuckles. Which, while seemingly an offhand remark about the nature of

this game, I interpret it another way.

You see, for the longest time there's been a consensus among many: That

Sonic sucks because there's just too many characters. Somewhere after

Sonic and Knuckles, Sega went overboard with Sonic's friends and

frenemies, when they should have stuck with Sonic.

To me, this is their way of saying "We learned."

However, I must say that that people, even if they don't realize it, don't

hate Sonic's friends at all.

How did we first play as Tails? Well let's take a look.

Did you notice it? The stage played exactly as the normal Sonic 2 stage,

but now you are Tails. You run from left to right, collect rings and fight

a boss. They later gave Tails the ability to fly.

Tails still collects rings while running from left of the screen to right,

but now has abilities that open different  gameplay options.

What about Knuckles? Well, Knuckles is the same. 

Knuckles can glide and

climb, but other wise it's still the same gameplay, same speed same

everything. In fact, playing as Sonic felt kind of vanilla, now.

Comparatively, this is the first time you played as Amy in a mainline

Sonic Series.
Amy's gameplay is kind of survival horror, but also not any damn good.

Even compared to the 3D Sonic action of the same game...

It's a departure. In a way, you kind of have to admire that Sega tried to

innovate on it's most popular franchise, but it...fucking blew up on their

face several times.

Here's our introduction to Big the Cat.

If such a thing  as an  opposite to "run really fast, avoid enemies and

collect rings" exists, it's probably "sit still and fish." Big could be played by Robert Downey Junior and you still wouldn't like him after that. Although...
I fucked the formatting and can
Feel true fear.

So obviously by Sonic Heroes everybody "hated" Sonic's allies, and wanted

to clear them away. Who does the Sonic fandom like from those years,


Meanwhile, in portable land, Sonic's supporting cast had new additions

like Blaze The Cat and Cream The Rabbit.

Eventually, Sega tried to put the thing by making Sonic The Hedgehog, a

reboot that focused exclusively on Sonic.

And...and Shadow, naturally.

And they had some left over telekinesis game engine, so they put in Silver

the Hedgehog from the same alternate dimension Blaze is.

Wow, way to miss the point of rebooting something. That's like if Batman Begins was nothing but Jim Carrey rubbing Batman's bat nipples.

So to recap: It is my belief that the hate for Sonic's friends is a

symptom of Sega's  failed gameplay experiments being used on new

characters. If Big The Cat had been playable in Sonic and Knuckles, maybe

they'd be boasting 4 characters instead of 3 in Sonic Mania. The same trouble with failed experimental gameplay also occurred with the older characters and Sonic himself, but nobody blamed the characters because we'd seen them work at some point.

I think Sega SHOULD give these characters a chance again in the future.

Not all of them at the same time, obviously.  I'm not even saying they aren't... well, hard to like. Just...if you can make a good

Sonic game and make their gameplay stick closely to...Sonic, I don't care

if you put in Bark The Polar Bear, Sticks the Badger, Rotor the Warlus, or Ray The Flying Squirrel.

AV Bishoujo Girl Fighting is a harder Strip Fighter 2

Copyrights truly make the best games.

 Look, I never set out to make make Fighting Female July a month where I talk about sexualized fighting games, nor is it my belief  that such a topic having covered mostly that in it's 4 year's run  some kind of statement on women in fighting games in general. There is a lot of that, yes. A lot a lot a lot a lot. But it's not ALL of it.

In my case, at least, it's more to do with circumstance. This whole thing began when I played a few bad rounds of Seifuku Desetsu,  and before I knew it I was looking for female fighitng games of all types. I WANT to try the Melty Bloods and ?s of life, but so far I keep falling into the Variable Geos and Strip Fighters. What's a blogger to do?

So, moving forward. AV Bishojo Girl Fighting is an NES pirate game by the same team who made the old NES Pirate Street Fighter 4 and Kart Fighter. That right there could be it's own review, if you know at least a couple of the things I mentioned. NES wasn't the ideal home for fighting games, and there's a reason there's so very few of them on the system outside of illegal pirate games.

So the gimmick on this one is: girls from completely unrelated franchises, with their names mangled or completely changed, all fight for supremacy. Chun Li made it mostly unscathed. Ranma from Ranma 1/2 becomes Ramma. Sailor Mercury from Sailor Moon is now Sugico.  Tracy/Bunny from SF4 now have a 3rd Playboy Cat/Rabbit in Marry, which makes her a clone of a clone as they all come from Erina Goldsmith of Variable Geo fame.
Look, I don't know much about Ranma 1/2, but I'm pretty sure there's no Vivians there.

But that's not all that crosses over from that, a handful of stages from that made it into this, including the Royal Navy Battleship and the  Factory. Horribly enough, Marry's stage IS her old stage, Circus Car Show, but it's now switched musics with Jungle bridge stage, too. Some of these SEEM like they should be on SF4, too, such as New York(Sailor Sugico's stage, somehow)  and Taj Mahal.
Sailor Overpriced Housing!

 Characters LOOK like they're from disparate franchises, with  inconsistent sprite sizes that make some characters  look ridiculously taller than the others.
Maybe they should have called this one Capcom Fighting Jam 4.

So you got a very basic set of punches, kicks and specials. The specials can be pretty hard to pull off, and sometimes fail to actually connect, which means that you should focus on the first thing.

So you go toe to toe with these girls, and if the other girl loses a round, you generally see an image of a girl having a wardrobe malfunction, and after  the final round you will see her all naked and stuff. Pretty sure there was one where it happened backwards, though. Of note that the girls are never actually the girl you're fighting. Not even slightly.
Although, let's be fair here: neither do the vs screens most of the time.

So, as you see, this is exactly the same as Strip Fighter 2, which forces us to confront a reality in which not only did someone play SF2...but then they said "that has some good ideas, let's put them in  a NES bootleg game". It even also ends by running you through all the pics of girls you'd previously seen. Thankfully the ingame game doesn't try to be sexy, other than tarting up Chun Li and Ranma Ramma a bit. I wonder when GameS Studios is going to get on this one's case.
But then again, maybe their vision was of a ditsy drunk tourist called Jean who hangs around the Taj Mahal fighting people.

The AI of this game, though...damn. Some enemies are manageable, but my run as Shmailor Fercury had me run into some relentless characters. Playing defensive against this guys is a fool's errand. Blocking is hit and miss, specials sometimes to less damage than's pretty messy. So when the AI gets cheap the only thing you can reliably count on is constantly spamming one of the punch/kick buttons, or jumping back, and trying to hit the enemy as he/she approaches. If you get your timing right you can get their health down pretty good like this, but watch out, as after a couple of hits they get dizzy. Your first instinct is going to be to rush in and get a free hit, but don't. They ALWAYS end their dizzy state before you get there.

In terms of play, there's no multiplayer,  and the only option in options is difficulty, and even then cranked at maximum. Humorously enough, the continue screen doesn't let you continue OR quit, and you can't get out of the ending either. Oh, and if you want to get the low color hentai images, you better play the hard dificulty, too.

Vivian was later sacrificed for killing and eating Chun Li.

So basically this game is like a harder, more glitchy Strip FIghter 2. Completists might get a bit of a kick, and you may get a bit of a rise out of how bootleggy the whole thing is.(The start menu music is from Sailor Moon, and when you pick something a jingle from Sonic plays, I'm kind of surprised the New York Stage isn't ripped off from the NES TMNT Tournament fighter's better New York stage). However the game is too broken, too buggy, and too brutal to be any decent amount of fun. It also doesn't have multiplayer, so, don't play AV Bishojo. Instead, get the  version of this characters for Mugen, get in their files and change their names, and put them all in one game, and browse Hentai Foundry while  playing it. It's bound to be more balanced, have better A.I., and the porn will be better, too.

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