They say the best media taps in the fears of the days it was made.
|We want YOU, to join the Foot Clan!|
|DJ Krang in the HOUUUUUUUSE!|
|Look, Shredder, I know sometimes we use the term ripped to describe someone muscly, , but there's something unhealty about your arm there.|
|"I'm sorry that you...seem to be confused..."|
|Leo is in no humor for this shit today.|
|Needs more anime speedlines.|
I don't know about you, but "having my show interrupted" was a serious concern growing up.
|Racism! Movie! Casting! Hollywood! Social Issues! Click!|
So...ahem...I'll start. Disney is now in a full on live action frenzy! After the apparent success of Malifecent, Cinderella, The Jungle Book and Pete's Dragon, they've started announcing thinmgs left and right to be rehashed but with actors. Lion King(uh...live action?) Tinkerbell, Aladdin and even Mulan.
Which makes a bit of sense. China's a pretty big market right now and Mulan is a known brand they can sell you. Mulan is about as safe a bet as you can have.
And then you gone and done ruin it.
Rumor had it that Disney ordered an original spec script in which Mulan now teams up with a handsome white guy sailor on her way to defeat the Huns! Which uh...sounds bad.
So a lot of people took to the webs in protest, hashtagging that shit until Disnerr swore that the cast to Mulan would be all Asian, which, as I recall, was not exactly the case in Mulan Prime, but it was a different time.
So, is Disney racist to want a little White meat with it's lo mein? Am I for saying that?
No, you see, Disney isn't a person, it's a business, no matter what Citizens United says.The only color they see is green. Is this a defense? No. Fuck Disney.
You see, Disney working under the type of racially charged assumption that, to put it some way, "ain't nobody gonna want to see a movie with Chinamans alone" comes from a place worst than hate. It's cowardice. They aren't racists. They are riskcists.
You the this whole thing with the remakes and reboots and adaptations, it got it's start because studios wanted a sure thing. During the late 90's and early 2000s they started to notice that utter garbage would make money if it had a brand name attached to it, because the economy was good, and you could afford to check out that adaptation of The Phantom on the odd chance they didn't bungle it this time. And sure, usually only when first released and not on home video, but apparently nobody knows how profit works.
Of course, this was in comparison to movies that wern't a brand name, which back then there used to be some of, but surely if Powder flopped and Jumanji didn't, then the movie's inherent qualities and proper marketing and differing levels of Robin Williams had nothing to do with that.
Which leads to this: an era where every movie is a safe movie because every movie is based on something. Every movie is a huge tentpole, which is the only thing you lot will see. Summer movies are released yearwide,and everyone and they mama wants a cinematic universe.
Which means, of course, that a lot of those flop, because people's ability to see movies is still limited by things like money or time, and even with nostalgia factoring in, at some point it comes down to " movie or food". I mean I can't see 3 Avengers movies an 2 Star Wars Movies a year. Some people can't, I can't.
So again, if safe is what you want, a live action remake of a 90's Disney movie with overseas appeal and with girl appeal(A Disney Princess!) and boy appeal(huge battles and funny dragon!) is about as safe as you can get without crossing over Star Wars and Marvel.
BUT NOOOO! No, it wasn't safe enough! Clearly you won't make enough moneh with just THAT. we have to put a White guy in there, because otherwise, everyone will stay away from this story in droves.
And you know what really angers me? That it doesn't funking work. I mean, I'm hardly gonna say movies like Street Fighter: The Legend of Chunli, Dragonball Evolution, The Last Airbender and King of Fighters were gonna be great otherwise, but clearly that helped nothing. Those movies should have been safe bets. Based on largely beloved franchises wit huge fanbases (and King of Fighters!) with huge tentpole potential. Instead they fucked it up.
I watched The Forbidden Kingdom, You should watch the trailer to that. "Jet Li...and Jackie Chan...FINALLY IN A MOVIE!" But then you watch it and the it's about Michael Angarano doing an Asian version of A Kid in King Arthur's Court. They just didn't have the confidence people would want to see a Kung Fu movie starring the world's 2 most known Kung Fu names, so they threw in a White kid.
There. Is. No. Such. Thing. As. A. Sure. Thing. You riskophobes. There never was. Maybe Mulan is gonna flop, even if you turn have Mulan suddenly run into Darth Vader and Ironman. Maybe it'll be a hit. You just have to make the best movie possible and hope it works.
And may I add good luck with that Aladdin movie set in culturally appropriated Middle East and without the possibility if casting Robin Williams because he died. I'm sure THAT won't be controversial at all!
|Yeah, it could look a lot nicer.|
Your boy Batzarro, here, the one who usually doesn't usually call himsef your boy, but here we is, has released a new game for the (NSFW LINK) Lewd Game Jam. The jam, sponsored by perennial ruiners of it for everyone 4Chan, , tasked us with creating a lewd product. Now, I planned for my thing to be at least slightly lewder, but I lost a couple of days to a for real Game Jame, and a country wide 2 day blackout. Plus, my sister never found the thing I needed.
But I made it and here it is. Play it, love it, get stuck on a door. I will be revisiting this one to and those oh, so desirable graphics I failed to get last time. Till then!
This video of the game me and the siblings are making is practically ancient history. at this point. Still, I'mma show it to you so you don't say your uncle Batzarro is of liers. I R the slpey and neid mah Zeas...
|You guys are gonna be 2 jelly.|
As soon as I heard that Interplay was selling off it's IPs, I got to wondering one thing: What's gonna happen to Wild 9?
Sure, I could see Earthworm Jim being sold for cashmoney to a middle or big sized publisher. Earth Worm Jim isn't gonna be lost forever But what about Wild 9? What about MDK? What about all those other games that didn't have multiple sequels and a cartoon show?
|I assume just for his cameo in the PC version of Toshinden is worth half a million.|
I don't WANT to wonder. I WONDER when WB is gonna do something with the
|To be fair, I do can see how the owners of DC, Looney Tunes, Hanna Barbera, Filmation and holders of the license to Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings...would feel a bit incomplete without also owning Dr Muto.|
The owners to these IPs bought them, but they don't really HAVE to do anything with them anyway. And so it could be with the soon to be owners of these games Interplay is selling.
Games like Heart of Darkness.(But I am told this one in particular isn't for sale)
Games like like Boogerman.
Games like Clayfighter.
Games like Carmageddon.
And yes, even friggin' Redneck Rampage.
So I say, instead of speculating about which company is gonna own and MAAAAYBE use these games, I propose we use crowdfunding to MAKE SURE somebody gets to use this franchise. And that that somebody happens to be EVERYONE IN THE WORLD.
This is the plan: we pool together the money, buy one or more of these IP and then release it under a Creative Commons license. That way, anyone can create a game based on said IP,in any way or shape or form.
But not only a game. You can make a Boogerman Comic, or a Carmageddon Film, should we acquire the rights for the franchise. You can use a song from Clayfighter in your thing. Make an anime from Redneck Rampage: I don't care.
|"Shucks , ah shawr dew hope Sempai Itoko will neuteece meh!"|
But that would take some money. I mean, I don't know how much some of these is going for, but I can't imagine anything going for less than 10000. So that's the goal I have in my Patreon: Ten thousand dollars to try and buy the rights to any Interplay IP possible.
And remember that it's a bid. Maybe someone REALLY wants to have the rights to Messiah more than us, and is willing to outbid us. So, maybe we'd need amounts of money closer to the millions. I've already got a Patreon set up, so if you wanna help with this, send it there. If you have no money, but want to help, you can always share the link and tell others. I'm gonna be frank: I haven't ever bid on anything and I don't know if you gotta go someplace or something, so any information on that front would be welcome.
If you like the idea, but don't trust me, you are free to get your own Crowdfunding going, maybe towards a specific franchise? I didn't do that, but you could, and I would openly support you. I'm only doing it myself cuz I seem to be the only one who's though of it.
We have to act now, because there may not be another chance. Whoever owns this stuff could very well own it for the rest of your life.
So let's stand together, let's make it happen, let's save Interplay! #SaveInterplay
What are you guys watching?
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