Dick Move, America

Hello,  and welcome to thinkpiece #34457864845 basically asking, you know, What the hell happened?

It's over...it's all over.

We had all pretty much assumed after Donald Trump openly admitted on an open mic to  the inappropriate sexual conduct he'd been accused off for years(and for which his trial is still ongoing), that he'd mostly lose this election. It was a bit silly that that was the thing that was gonna do him in, after his incredibly poor displays on just about every issue a President should face.

And instead he won. He won despite running like he wanted to lose. Despite offending pretty much everyone on every side of the aisle, and saying things that would have gotten other politicians to lose  many many times,  he won.

I would not be surprised if  every single person who voted for Donald Trump did harbor  racist, Islamophobic, and so and so feelings and that that was the reason they voted for him. But that's not even  why I'm shocked. I'm shocked that none of you lot who voted for him realized how impractical, if not outright impossible, the fake ideas Donald Trump used to sell his campaign are.

A giant concrete wall would be incredibly expensive for something  coyotes would merely tunnel under. Rounding up and deporting Muslims would also be something that is incredibly expensive, with very little actual payoff in security terms.

I kind of get it that some of you liked him because he wasn't a normal politician. Because he was different, more so than because he seemed imbibed with the very spirit of douchbaggery itself. But different isn't  always good. You know what would be real different? Sticking a flaming  pine cone up my  anus while headbutting a porcupine. It would probably make history as the first time anyone's ever done that, but that doesn't mean it wouldn't be a painful, terrible idea with huge consequences.

You see, I thought you would see through this obvious bullshit even through your racism and hate. I kinda had what you'd call  "faith". I had faith on you too see what it is for what it is. I had faith on America, you could say. Ha!

Because even if Donald Trump's terrible ideas are just that, ideas that won't come to fruition, then what else is there?  He's gonna be naming judges, heads of agencies and members of the Fiscal Control Board. He's gonna be signing or rejecting bills from other, more capable people. Mr Celebrity Apprentice will be representing your country now, and we don't even know what his stances are because he's made more flip flops than a  Taiwanese sweatshop worker.

I mean, how could you ever believe that the golden throne having businessman who started off by inheriting money from his father was going to be the one standing up to big interests in Washington? Like, you really thought that? You really think a corrupt businessman ran for President because he wanted to put a stop to corrupt businessmen? This isn't just putting a fox to guard a hen-house, you're actively sticking your chickens inside a fox.

So here's to you naive people who put this obvious snake oil salesman on the highest office in the land.  You just made a big mistake. A huge mistake. The worst mistake, it is tremendous. You guys literally don't know what you have done. And a special shout-out to those of you who didn't vote because "both candidates are just as bad". Those of us that can't vote will now suffer for your myopic attitude and stupidity. Even the people who were racists voting for Donald Trump I respect more than you, because at least THEY took the idea of choosing a leader seriously. More than them, more than Clinton and Wasserman Shultz, more than the misguided conservatives who got this cartoon villain to win the primaries, it is YOU I blame for whatever happens next. It was a time for action, and you chose inaction. You chose unwisely.

And Donald Trump? Congratulations. You played this country like an harp from hell. I hope you enjoy the ego stroke that comes from this. The expectations are really low, so if you play your cards right and don't break too many things, you might be remembered as not-the-worst-president-in-history.

But then again, that's the kind of lack of cynicism that led me to believe that you wouldn't even make it in.  I wonder how good it feels to be the winner when your victory worries everyone.

So what's next? We're all disappointing in the system that allowed this. We're all tired and sad and angry.What are we gonna do, move to Canada?
Not me, though, I'mma get myself back to the Madre Patria if anything.

Well, no, stupid. What inaction wrought inaction won't dissolve. Now is the time to REALLY get involved with politics! Like, for really, real! In two years, there will be another vote. Not a sexy Presidential vote, but a vote nonetheless. A vote that can make a difference, if you let it. Like a great man said, you can't undo that, but you can diminish the effects of it. And he should know about putting annoying orange creatures where they don't belong.

 Don't wait for the news to tell you to start worrying about it to start worrying about it.  Pressure your congressmen. Don't let them pass the kinds of laws that Donald Trump promised.

They say evil wins when good men do nothing. I think we've seen that upfront by now. The question is, are you ready to do something?

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