Puerto Rico Welcomes Mrs Casey Anthony at 5:25 AM

I have not been truly following the news on the case of lost little girl Caylee Anthony, or her accused, self styled presumed murderer Casey Anthony, alias Tot Mom. This is because, frankly I didn't NEED to follow it. You're switching channels in the last two years and you hover anywhere near CNN and all you are gonna hear is details on this case.

And now that the case is ended my opinion...doesn't matter. I think the jury made the right choice legally, even though it's clear she's hiding what really happened. But as I said, it doesn't matter. She's a free woman, guilty or not.

And now they're saying she's coming here, to Puerto Rico. And I want to be the first to say welcome. Welcome, Mrs Anthony to your dream island.

Right off the bat, I will warn you, if you don't like competition, don't come. We have our own notorious case of a child being murdered where the child's mother is most likely guilty or involved somehow. Still, other than, the scene is great. My country loves it's criminals.

First off, right after a crime where it's obvious who is the culprit, media rush in to the victim, or their family to ask if they forgive them. And you get lauded at if you demonstrate you can forgive the guy who killed your daughter. Our equivalent of Nancy Grace doesn't care about finding Kayley, she cares about if the parents have the strength and resolve to forgive a murderer who hasn't yet shown remorse. It's impressive, really.

We follow crime like we follow sports: Statistics. We count the murdered, and compare if it's a higher or lower amount than last year or if we beat the overall record.

And don't worry about any of us coming after you! Oh, no. We won't.Don't worry about those Facebook guys. They ain't gonna do jack squat. Every time a child dies in the crossfire between rival drug dealers, everyone gets so indignant and furious they...set up marches. Grieving parents are convinced that crime and overall negative behaviors are something you can protest away, while drug dealers who cause such things are revered as God-Like figures. They buy consciences with washing machines and bicycles, which you can use to wash your tear stained clothes once that child inevitably ends a drug addicted beggar, and  ride to your dope-dealer son's extravagant funeral, respectively.

He's dead

So, you'll fit right in, Ms Anthony. The only thing is: don't leave anything outside, don't go anywhere at night, and don't have a fancy radio in your car because CRIME HERE IS CRAZY!