Sarcastic article cancelled on account of real life really being that stupid.

2 crossbows? Isn't that just like a woman...

So you may have noticed I have a new section called "Nega Nancy" in which I try to emulate the trend of  just taking anything and everything and shitting on it for not being feminist enough. And I had planned to make a new one about Linkle.

It was going to be a fun one too: I would be all "Why that's SEXIST!"

Unfortunately, the site I was parodying beat me to the punch in an article more funny that anything I could myself write.

Mary Sue basically decided Linkle is a disappointment and that wanting James Bond to be Black and  and This or that other character to be a minority or women is worthless. So, what are they gonna do, throw themselves in a dumpster? Half their stories are how this and that character being black or a woman or gay is  awrsome, and what's left is praise for any half baked attempt to do so.

Just on Female Link they insisted that  there was no reason Link couldn't be female a bunch of times.

But I guess there is a reason: That Zelda is SO SEXIST IT SHOULD NOT EXIST AT ALL.

I guess it's NOT encouraging that the prospect of a female Link is on Big N's mind now that it's taken a form beyond words.

Look, I don't expect you to LOVE Linkle. I'd understand because it's mostly a stunt, and while you usually just fall for any half assed stunt promising diversity, I don't think A FEMALE LINK IN THE DYNASTY WARRIORS ZELDA GAME IS THE GREATEST THING IN THE WORLD.

But, you did. You said it was important. You made more than one article about it. You said it did no harm. Now apparently it causes all the harm. Because you want something to cure you of the pinkphobia you've cultivated for so many years.

But that's what happens when you see female characters only for how "women" they are. Don't you see? You've trapped yourself under your own standards. "Pink" "Girly" "Princessy" females are no good because they express traditional ideas and expectations of femininity. "Tomboyish" "Scratch Kneed" and  "Basically a female version of the male character" is no good because you want the work to tell YOU to like "Pink" "Princessy" and "Girly" and that's just  basically "masculine".

Normal people (that aren't paid to gripe about comic covers that aren't even the only ones available) don't have that problem, because they recognize there is a diversity of possible female existences. A woman can be a pink loving stay at home mom. Or a woman can be a butch bike rider. Or a woman can even bombshell sexpot.  Or as you call them, "regressive gender role afirmations"  "A poorly presented woman" or "Not a rolemodel regardless of other factors involved."

So, never change, Mary Sue. Just...take it easy, okay?  Let  parodies to your ridiculousness some room to breath over here.


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