Showing posts with label obscure. Show all posts
Showing posts with label obscure. Show all posts

Obscure Spotlight: Paladin El Cacique






There are some some heroes  out there that don't need to be discussed anymore. Superman's had so many takes on him in all media, that once they finish the new TV show Krypton about life before Baby Kal El got sent on that rocket, you'll be able to watch his whole life from  then, on through his youth through Superboy/Smallville, on to him as a grown man on Lois and Clark.

But alternatively there are some heroes you probably don't know about. Heroes that either failed to garner such fame as Superman or, just whern't MEANT to reach that. These obscure  heroes, I think, deserve discussion EVEN MORE than the latest Batman Reboot, BECAUSE they are unknown. And that's why I'm making this series: Hero Spotlight.

The year was 1992. Crime was rampant in the US Commonwealth of Puerto Rico, with control of the distribution of drugs as the main source of it. It got so bad, the local government implemented a progam called "La Mano Dura" or "The Hard Hand", doubling down on efforts to subdue the criminal activity through sheer brute force.


But I didn't know all that. I was just a boy, no older than 10. I wasn't into the news. I was into Pop culture stuff, like, I assume most kids where back then. The comics boom was still in full effect, and my parents thought if we preserved random Mighty Mutanimals Comics, one day we'd be rich. 

The interest in  Superheroes was at an alltime high. With the Batman movies still fresh in memory(and due to be shown on TV at soon.) our local, young TV stations started running any Super Hero content  they could get their hands on, such as the then recent Flash TV series and the old(OLD BY THEN)  WOnder Woman and Batman TV shows, to Ultraman.

However, far across the sea, one was aware of both of these, seemingly unrelated  dynamics.  One Nick Innone.  Situated in New York, The Neuyorican artist and his wife, (I am bad at names), decided that Puerto Rico needed a local hero. Teaming up with Newspaper EL Nuevo Dia, they began a comic strip series that lasted so and so years. These, are the adventures of Paladin El Cacique.

Paladin el Cacique, or "Paladin The Chieftain".

Ramon Castillo was a well to do man, with a beloved wife, and a sprawling old Hacienda house. Until one day, crime took away his beloved wife. Swearing revenge on all crime, Ramon by serendipity found under his house a sprawling citadel built under his house, built by his Spaniard ancestor who used an unusual armor to fight for the local taino tribes during Spanish Colonial days. Retrofiting this place and this armor with modern supertechnology, he became Paladin The Chieftain.

So basically right from the start this guy's Bat-Punisher. His armor was pretty cool, though, with all sorts of improbable gadgets like helicopter blades and...robotic spy lizards. Does Batman have robotic spy lizards? NO.

It was also a pretty original design. You probably can´t tie this color scheme and helmet design to any other heroes from then, or since.

Running during the Sunday funnies enabled Paladin to have a whole , colored page to itself every Week, and I don't know how the success of a Sunday strip is actually measured, but it lasted  years, so I'm guessing it was pretty successful.

Paladin did not for long have to trudge alone through the life of the hero. He was eventually joined by some anciliary characters, which formed a team known as "Los Campeadores Boricuas" or "The Boricua Champions". 


A young man  called Pepe Ramirez, saw his grandmother badly wounded by the same criminals that killed Castillo's wife. This eventually lead him to seek revenge and finds himself on the Citadel, which leads him to fashion himself a costume, and call himself Gavilan.

In typical sidekick fashion, his first act it to immediately  get beat up by a robot and have to be saved. You see, this guy gets it.
Puedes volaaaar...leejoooos!

There was also a mute giant who worked for the local crime lord, until he gave up his life of crime, and became a hero. He was known as Titan, because, well, you know.

But my favorite  has got to be Reinita.

A local reinita bird, or Bananaquit , as they're known, found itself captured by an evil witch. The evil witch turned this tiny bird into a flight capable, egg laying human, whom she kept in a cage until she freed herself and moved on to enviromental vandalism,  After a bit of a civil case to determine whether a bird transformed into a bird by a witch has human rights(!!!) she became Reinita.


But she had, up to that point, been mostly just naked. So they launched a contest to decide what her costume was going to be. While I was dissapointed that the winner was NOTHING colored like the actual bird, this character immediately became my favorite in the series.
To be fair.  thick white eyebrows are a hard look to pull...
There where various arcs throughout, and tonally it was all over the place. For example, the first arc follows Ramon´s attempt to get revenge on his enemy, Number 1. It ends the arc with the Number 1 dead, but also with Paladin having sunk to the bottom of the ocean, dead.
For full effect...


And he was considered dead for two weeks, instory. But suddenly, he shows up, beamed down from a manta ray space ship. It turns out while he was dead as a doornail, Pleasure Goblins from Pleasure Planet revived him and took him to their planet to have crazy adventures. Like, you´re not even gonna ease us into the Pleasure Planet Saga, man? Just like that?

And yes, the little fuckers would show up again to ruin a saga about weapons escalation. A series of events, starting with children accidentally shooting each other snowballs for eight weeks into "weird death cult tries to blow up the island with a nuke." Tries my ass, they do it! While our hero tries his best to disarm the bomb, it blows up in his face, as a splash page describes to us all the beautiful things that where just ended because MAN HATES.
Bad End.
But then the explosion turns into flowers. Surprise, omnipotent aliens at work! And they're like, "Oh, you silly humans. Stop being a violent species, m'kay?"

If you can turn nuclear fall out into flowers, why the hell did you need a hero?







There where shorter arcs, like the witch saga, in which Paladin is mourning his wife in his spiffy new cape, when suddenly, a fucking skeleton witch shows up and starts putting the moves on him and trying to kill him with a rock monster. It took him the entire 4 October issues to rid himself of that random ass witch.

The final arc,  possibly unfinished, involves Gavilan being  paralized by a bullet(No help came from the Joy Goblins that day. I mean, they where there, but paralisis was beyond them. Yes, turning a nuclear blast into flowers is one thing, but fixing  a spine? They're not MAGIC, you  know?), and the other sidekicks leaving with him, Paladin going it alone and facing a twisted tinkerer, type, and his own dark duplicate, called something along the lines of Doom.

So the strip was cancelled after this time, and it's heroes faded into obscurity. Or, um, even FURTHER into obscurity. The only way to enjoy  their adventures was to either have collected them while they where out(and trust me, that even with my dad's fascination with  collecting newspapers, this was not a realistic solution) or to go to the newspaper's actual headquarters to borrow a copy, which again, you'd have to REALLY be into this strip to consider.

You'd think the Internet would have made things immediately easier, but as far back as 7 years only about the first couple of months where made available, only ocassionally alternating to NONE.  Thankfully most of them have been made available, some in English and most in Spanish, by the people behind the originals...I'm mostly sure. 

The strip is not perfect. The art is a little crude. While a lot of love and care went into any images of Paladin  going Hrrraaaargh! human faces would often look a little weird. The whole thing is stylized less like a traditional adventure comic of the time, and more like a mural.The spanish is written by a man who obviously had spanish as a second language, and the  Strips would alternate between somewhat morbid and dark subject matter, like crime, grandmothers  getting their necks cut, and Satan, with  somewhat goofy concepts like little pleasure goblins and lovelorn witches and...robot spy lizards.. This strip might be a bit hard to love.
Did I mention I love this design?
But for me, it's easy to love, because I saw it as a child, and it stood with me. It hits me in that part of a nerd's heart  that loves something rare and hard to find. It's something that was a part of my life for years, and even though it must have been part of at least hundreds of other people's lives, it remains a truly rare subject. And as awkward as it may seem, reading them back now, some touches such as the author thanking the hospital that took care of his daughter several times, and celebrating Halloween or one of our beauty queens...It doesn't feel like this was just going through the motions, making  a comic strip to make a quick buck. It seems like people pouring their heart into a work of art.

It also may have set , perhaps in a small way, a spark in me, that making superheros wasn't just something people outside of my island could do. To understand at such a young age that doing such a cool thing was possible to me might have guided a lot of directions in my life. I spent years refining my own set of puerto rican heroes, rifining their stories. I knew that if Nick Innone could do it, so could I.

So that's the story of Paladin El Cacique...SO FAR. Could it come back? I'd hope so.
Maybe one day...it will.

This was where the article ended originally. And it wasn't an article, it was a script for a video. But something wonderful has happened. Paladin El Cacique is now going to be available as annuals through Amazon. I have been contacted through Deviant Art and spent the morning crying like a fucking baby.

For the longest time, It felt like I was the only person in the planet that remembered this guy.  If you've read this blog in any capacity you know how I appreciate obscure stuff. Hell, I was contacted through the fanarts I did on Deviantart, the only fanarts of this character that I know to exist on that site and practically any others.

Support it if you can. I don't care if you buy the reprints to fan your belly with them, just buy them and support. We always talk about representation. Here's a Puerto Rican Superhero. Don't just talk.

Freckles Marvel: The Lost Marvel Episode XI : By the Book



It's been a while since I've talked about Freckles Marvel. But not because of a lack of stuff to say. I've since discovered Freckles Marvel has made sporadic appearences besides the ones I mentioned in the pages of Mary Marvel's magazine. But I thought they were acceptable losses to not mention them. I mean, they wern't  even Freckles Marvel Stories, per se.

But then there was her cartoon appearance. Thanks to Youtube user Melare Delga we now have a bit more of Freckles' freckled history available. Thanks to you, I'm going back to Marvelton.

Yes, Freckles appears in the second episode of The Kid Super Power Hour with Shazam! , a Filmation Cartoon that aired during the years 1981-82. So, you know, I guess this was all for nothing.

I wanted to find something  rare and obscure. A cartoon episode means that duh, now everybody knows about Freckles Marvel. Let's face it, Freckles Marvel is ruined.

So the episode starts with The Marvels at the Marvel Mansion getting a visit from Freckles, who is described as Billy and Mary's Cousin. Which is true...from a certain point of view. If Uncle Marvel was their actual uncle(which he might be in this show I didn't watch) then  yeah, they're cousins. But he's not because that's his shtick, and unlike him Freckles never pretended to have superpowers, so I don't know what she is here or what her relationship is to anyone.


Anyway, suddenly Freckles.
?????????????


Uh...
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I...don't know what is going on here. Freckles Marvel is now either an overdeveloped 5 year old or a little person. I mean, I don't want to get on your case, Filmation, but  you're making this weird.
Why, yes, it does zoom in.

And oddly, the episode doesn't really give away if this is supposed to be like their baby cousin or just a short girl, either. The voice actress is the same as Mary Marvel, and the voice isn't going for something baby-esque or anything.
I take it back when I said "never to be brought back or grittied up or tarted up" again.



Anyway, Freckles comes in and gives a gift to Mary Marvel in the form of a book, which was given to her by some guy who approached her on the street.

Now, Freckles KNOWS Mary and Billy are superheroes. You'd think she'd be a little suspicious of strange men offering her stuff, especially when the stuff is, say...a book with pictures of Lizardmen in polos. So this version is at least as dumb as Freckles Prime, except instead of being like an outgoing, brazen kind of girl, she's just kind of blandly happy, providing no conflict or contrast to the proceedings.
Seriously, bro, you fucked up.

So, to recap, Freckles Marvel went from being a lanky, ugly girl who fought zoo animals and started a city wide riot, to some kind of sappy crapola ChibiUsa bullshit. And she went from being Mary Marvel's biggest fan and and trying and failing to become a hero to being a Mary and Billy's cousin from another town. I guess this was the 80's, and such ideas were considered outdated.
I'll wait for the movie.


But let's move on, from Freckles, which is what the show does anyway. During that night, the lizards jump out of the book and capture, Freddy, Billy and Mary. You see, this is already raising questions.

The lizards(who are blatantly wearing LaCoste Polos, and I don't know if that's brilliant or idiotic) and their prey shrink using their Tennis Rackets to a small size to go into the book. I hope they run into Jesus in there.
This is what happens if golf clubs embrace variety.


No, this takes them to Millions of years in the past, were, in which Ibac, The acursed, Ibac(he tells you twice, I assume it's important) a demonic amalgam creature with a mohawk, lays down his plan.  He's got a machine called "The People Processor", and while that sounds as threatening as "The Car Wash", it's actually a machine that mutates normal humans into mutant lizards. He does this to our heroes. He plans to do this to all the cavemen, shoot them through a tube into the future that is our present, and rule the world.

Now turned into "Hiss-Men", they can't transform into their heroic alter egos. However, they do have super strenght and agility, which only doesn't immediately get them out of the jam because their main idea is to run away into the dinosaur infested forest.

Marvel quickly registered Captain Lizardman as a trademark.

Now, take a deep breath, there, Ibac. Your plan is to kidnap a bunch of pissed off cavemen, and put them in a machine that will make them into super strong lizard people. Then, you somehow grab a hold of them, force them out of their time, and then assume they will not only understand what it is you want, but also obey you and be succesfull at it. A few notes.
  • These angry lizard-cave-men will immediately attack you.

  • You can't rule humanity if you turn all their ancestors into lizard men. In fact, doing that only ensures that you will rule a relatively small society of cave men with lizard bodies.

  • You can shrink humans, but you don't use this to shrink lizard Mary, Billy and Freddy.

  • Even if you sidestep the obvious time travel paradox of trying to enslave a people who's ancestors you nixed out, Hiss Men are no match for tanks and bombs. Or other Super Heroes that aren't Captain Marvel.

  • Speaking of, involving your worst enemy into a time travel scheme is a great way to get caught.

  • With that said, there is no reason not to have also captured the people left at the mansion.  I mean, there is no rush, and you obviously know they exist, and that they are there. Failing to capture those guys is the undoing of this whole plan.

  • You have access to time travel and direct access to the present(?) and the past and the future. Can't you come up with something better than this stupid brute force approach? Hell, why not turn everyone on the past into Hiss Men and RULE THERE?

Still, while The Shadowy Space Lizard Cabal that secretly rules the world taunts us by letting us know what they did through cartoons all THAT is going on, Chibi Marvel, Uncle Marvel and Talky Tawny, a sentient talking tiger in a suit I know about but have zero interest in researching, are wondering where everyone is. So, naturally, they walk out of the house and find THE TIME TRAVEL PIPE.

You've seen time travel Hot Tubs, Time Travel Cars, Time Travel Books, but never a time travel sewer pipe.

In great coincidence, Billy is on his second escape now, (Ibac, you goddamn moron!) and comes out of the tubes. And they are just ready to beat whatever comes out of that pipe to death.


I don't know what Freckles is holding here, and I don't think I wanna know.

He explains. Maybe. I think they forgot the fade out to the explaining, so it looks like Freckles just knew about it all. Shazaming does work for present day Lizard Billy Batson, so he becomes Captain Marvel. But he can't go through the time stream as Captain Marvel, so he becomes Billy, goes through, and gets himself captured a 3rd time.

Eventually, Freckles, Dudely and Tawny worry and go through. Freckles runs past a lizard guy and removes the gag from Captain Marvel. Without batting an eyelash Captain Turns the lizard men into regular men, turns Freddy and Mary back into humans, leaves Ibac stranded in the past by throwing his time travel devices around, and a the day is saved.
But it's hard to bat an eyelash for him, anyway...

So, what to say. Freckles Marvel was Freckles Marvel in name only, and not even like they were trying to do something unique with her. She's just there, and probably not even in any other episodes. This is like if you had Scrappy Doo, except now he's just a smaller Scoopy Doo with the same personality and voice actor.



"No Father! I Love HIIIM!"


Out of that, it's just a silly cartoon, that you can only get online because the rights are entangled. It's got the Filmation standard animation goofs, ludicrous plots and  stilted voice acting. So it's bad in a quaint way.

Let me know if there's other Freckles Marvel appearances out there that I missed! Or else!


The Lost Marvel Episode X: Swamp Ass



The Lost Marvel Episode X: Swamp Ass

Freckles Marvel was a part of Captain Marvel history, and not a once off oddity either: During the height of Captain Marvel's fame, at which point, need  I remind you, he was easily more recognizable than Superman,  she graced several covers. She had a town for her to inhabit,  supporting characters to her, and even a nifty apellation. And seemingly overnight, she banished off the face of the earth, never to be tarted up, or gritted up, or killed off. Just oblivion.

But she won't stay forgotten for long, because, I'm covering all her adventures in my series The Lost Marvel.



Freckles Marvel's hometown of Marveltown (population 2202, formerly Skunktown) is a pretty strange place. Did you know there's a an old hermit in the swampy outskirts of town that everyone is afraid of? Well, aparently there is.

As our story begins, Mary is meeting the Freckles, who is on her way to deliver a basket of goodies to said stranger.
He doesn't do those evil dances, though.
Sadly, the stranger shows himself an angry costumer.


A crabby hermit, indeed.


However, Freckles insists. This is when guns are pulled.
This is the kind of thing I'm afraid might happen to me in America.
Look at that face. It took her a while, but Freck is finally gearing to understand that weapons can kill. Mary blasts her out of there, before things get bloody. You see, kids? Always judge a book by it's cover, all rumors are true, trust no introverts.
"Except the stories about him being a magic user. Those are false."
Their charity night a bust, the girls decide to go see a movie. Except they run into a bank robber along the way. It looks like a job for several goddesses in a bundle and one halfwit teen!
Now she's called Neckbrace Marvel.
While Mary makes sure Freckles still has neck left, the thief gets away. I guess she really didn't hit him hard enough this time.  So they track him to the swamps, where they try again to interact with the hermit. He's again overly hostile.
STOP SAYING HOLEY MOLEY!
Unhelped, they leave and split up to hunt for the criminal.  However the hermit has other plans...

OLD HERMIT USES QUICKSAND! IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE!

After  Mary gets her out, they again find the Hermit, who claims not to remember having ever tried to  kill Freckles.  Immediately, Mary Marv knows what's up.


GIMME YOR FACE!
Finally, the whole thing is cleared up, and the Hermit turns out to be a nice man.

"Hey, it's either this or listen to Captain Marvel JR prattle endlessly about hating Captain Nazi.


 This one showed us Freckles at her must humane. of her own volition and without imput from no one, she set out to help the towns pariah, and learns a less on about looking beyond the perception of a person.

Is this the  end of the series? It seems that way. I want to thank the heroes at the Digital Comics Museum, who made this series possible.  I made this series to inform you, my dear viewer, and without their selfless acts of scanning, uploading and making the comics available, I myself would have also remained in the dark. This are MOST of the titles listed on Comic Vine. So until I get my hands on more, this is my effort. It cannot be said that nobody brought back Freckles Marvel because they didn't know. And now, having read most of them, it cannot be said no one liked her either.

Will she come back? Hey, everything's possible. And technically...you could do it. I've done my best to inform. The rest...is up to you.

The Lost Marvel Episode X: Swamp Ass



The Lost Marvel Episode X: Swamp Ass

Freckles Marvel was a part of Captain Marvel history, and not a once off oddity either: During the height of Captain Marvel's fame, at which point, need  I remind you, he was easily more recognizable than Superman,  she graced several covers. She had a town for her to inhabit,  supporting characters to her, and even a nifty apellation. And seemingly overnight, she banished off the face of the earth, never to be tarted up, or gritted up, or killed off. Just oblivion.

But she won't stay forgotten for long, because, I'm covering all her adventures in my series The Lost Marvel.


Freckles Marvel's hometown of Marveltown (population 2202, formerly Skunktown) is a pretty strange place. Did you know there's a an old hermit in the swampy outskirts of town that everyone is afraid of? Well, aparently there is.

As our story begins, Mary is meeting the Freckles, who is on her way to deliver a basket of goodies to said stranger.
He doesn't do those evil dances, though.
Sadly, the stranger shows himself an angry costumer.


A crabby hermit, indeed.


However, Freckles insists. This is when guns are pulled.
This is the kind of thing I'm afraid might happen to me in America.
Look at that face. It took her a while, but Freck is finally gearing to understand that weapons can kill. Mary blasts her out of there, before things get bloody. You see, kids? Always judge a book by it's cover, all rumors are true, trust no introverts.
"Except the stories about him being a magic user. Those are false."
Their charity night a bust, the girls decide to go see a movie. Except they run into a bank robber along the way. It looks like a job for several goddesses in a bundle and one halfwit teen!
Now she's called Neckbrace Marvel.
While Mary makes sure Freckles still has neck left, the thief gets away. I guess she really didn't hit him hard enough this time.  So they track him to the swamps, where they try again to interact with the hermit. He's again overly hostile.
STOP SAYING HOLEY MOLEY!
Unhelped, they leave and split up to hunt for the criminal.  However the hermit has other plans...

OLD HERMIT USES QUICKSAND! IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE!

After  Mary gets her out, they again find the Hermit, who claims not to remember having ever tried to  kill Freckles.  Immediately, Mary Marv knows what's up.


GIMME YOR FACE!
Finally, the whole thing is cleared up, and the Hermit turns out to be a nice man.

"Hey, it's either this or listen to Captain Marvel JR prattle endlessly about hating Captain Nazi.


 This one showed us Freckles at her must humane. of her own volition and without imput from no one, she set out to help the towns pariah, and learns a less on about looking beyond the perception of a person.

Is this the  end of the series? It seems that way. I want to thank the heroes at the Digital Comics Museum, who made this series possible.  I made this series to inform you, my dear viewer, and without their selfless acts of scanning, uploading and making the comics available, I myself would have also remained in the dark. This are MOST of the titles listed on Comic Vine. So until I get my hands on more, this is my effort. It cannot be said that nobody brought back Freckles Marvel because they didn't know. And now, having read most of them, it cannot be said no one liked her either.

Will she come back? Hey, everything's possible. And technically...you could do it. I've done my best to inform. The rest...is up to you.

The Lost Marvel Episode IX: Chessbursters



Freckles Marvel was a part of Captain Marvel history, and not a once off oddity either: During the height of Captain Marvel's fame, at which point, need  I remind you, he was easily more recognizable than Superman,  she graced several covers. She had a town for her to inhabit,  supporting characters to her, and even a nifty apellation. And seemingly overnight, she banished off the face of the earth, never to be tarted up, or gritted up, or killed off. Just oblivion.

But she won't stay forgotten for long, because, I'm covering all her adventures in my series The Lost Marvel.

This latest issue begins when Mary Marvel hears a violent agression, and it turns out our own Freckles Marvel is our perpetrator. But why? I bet there was some ragequitting involved!
She also said polkadots are out!
In order to apease her violent impulses, Mary taked FreckMar to the old toy shop so she can polish her basic Chess skills. But some thugs follow them home.
Yeah, let's not just take what we want.
They bound and gag Mary Dudely, and Mary Batson is forced to use her powers. However, they know their tropes well.
Well, she can't do that with her mouth covered, can she?


For the Evols!
Upon hearing they are not the only people to have their chess sets stolen, they go on the factory to look for clues. Instead...they find the actual thieves working there. Naturally, it
's clobbering time.
Mary Marvel is a union breaker.
Turns out it was all a complicated scheme to smuggle expensive jewels! Our heroines then coles out the whole "chess arc".
"The only way we could safely get away with theft was if we robed what we had  stolen! Like gods, we were!

So, as it turns out, Mary Marvel checking on her mate, Freckles  allowed them to enroque in an great adventured. Despite her checkered past and nearly being pawned, FM herself   succesfully somemore chesspuns!


Bonus Round

Uh.., you can't train for chess by yourself, dimwit.

The Lost Marvel Episode IX: Chessbursters



Freckles Marvel was a part of Captain Marvel history, and not a once off oddity either: During the height of Captain Marvel's fame, at which point, need  I remind you, he was easily more recognizable than Superman,  she graced several covers. She had a town for her to inhabit,  supporting characters to her, and even a nifty apellation. And seemingly overnight, she banished off the face of the earth, never to be tarted up, or gritted up, or killed off. Just oblivion.

But she won't stay forgotten for long, because, I'm covering all her adventures in my series The Lost Marvel.

This latest issue begins when Mary Marvel hears a violent agression, and it turns out our own Freckles Marvel is our perpetrator. But why? I bet there was some ragequitting involved!
She also said polkadots are out!
In order to apease her violent impulses, Mary taked FreckMar to the old toy shop so she can polish her basic Chess skills. But some thugs follow them home.
Yeah, let's not just take what we want.
They bound and gag Mary Dudely, and Mary Batson is forced to use her powers. However, they know their tropes well.
Well, she can't do that with her mouth covered, can she?


For the Evols!
Upon hearing they are not the only people to have their chess sets stolen, they go on the factory to look for clues. Instead...they find the actual thieves working there. Naturally, it
's clobbering time.
Mary Marvel is a union breaker.
Turns out it was all a complicated scheme to smuggle expensive jewels! Our heroines then coles out the whole "chess arc".
"The only way we could safely get away with theft was if we robed what we had  stolen! Like gods, we were!

So, as it turns out, Mary Marvel checking on her mate, Freckles  allowed them to enroque in an great adventured. Despite her checkered past and nearly being pawned, FM herself   succesfully somemore chesspuns!


Bonus Round

Uh.., you can't train for chess by yourself, dimwit.

What are you guys watching?