Top 5 best licensed games to not happen

Goodbye, Star Wars 1313. If you  still existed, I'd probably Boycott you because of Disney fumbling around with our copyright laws.

Game development is a tricky thing. Just ask Hideo Kojima and Guillermo del Toro.  Even the shitty licensed games of old should count themselves as lucky, because there were other licensed games that never even made it to the street.

Police Academy-NES


If making a videogame based on the raunchy 80's Fratboys-as-Cops franchise Police Academy seems stupid, it's because it's not the 80's anymore. But maybe it helps if I say it was going to based on the abysmal cartoon based on the already by then diluted franchise? That help?

Indeed, Police Academy was done, when it was cancelled. Done, done. "Ads in Comics" done.  But it was late in the Nes' life cycle, and sending out a bunch of cartridges with "Police Academy" written seemed about as sensible as sending Hightower to catch the Zodiac Killer all of a sudden, so no dice.

"Come on you, guys, you know I can't fly as much as carry myself with telepathy! Where are you going? I'm REALLY POPULAAAAR!"

Did you hear about the all new all women X-Men? Or that still a thing? It's X-Men continuity, as  far as I know they're all wombat babies, now.

But to segue, years ago after the success of X-Men and X-Men 2 for the Sega Genesis, Sega hired "Adventures of Batman and Robin" developers  Clockwork Tortoise to make them a game following the females of the X-Men as they battled Mr Sinister, who unleashed a man-killing virus as a ploy to world domination. Or to challenge Psylocke's claims that she wouldn't do him if he was the last man on earth.

From the short surviving video we can see Rogue, and Storm, playable and flying. Hey, as long as you're doing what I would do,  Devs, how about this(nsfw thingy on link! You been warned!)?

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Tournament Fighter(Saturn)

"Artistic interpretation"
Ok, this one might NOT be true: allegedly besides the Snes, Nes, and Genesis versions of TMNT TF, there was a a fourth version slated to be on the Sega  Saturn. I read it on Taringa, but I can't find the info. It said that it was reported as such on a magazine. Any rabid infomaniacs out there willing to check every EGM and Gamepro from 1993 to 1996?  For god's sake I mailed Konami and friended a guy with the name of one of the devs to FB. HALP!

Marvel Universe Online

Marvel went on to have like 7 MMO's.

Oh, sure, we have a Marvel MMO NOW. But before that, Microsoft had it's meaty paws on the licence, and even had a teaser. Sure, it tells us nothing of who you would be or anything, but it would have given us that first Xbox MMO sooner.

But at some point Microsoft just went "'Nuff Said!" and cancelled the whole thing, perhaps inspired then recent MMO failiures.

Steven Seagal's The Final Option
When even Marc Dacascos won't answer your phone...
Unlike the rest of this list, this one you can play at least a bit of the first stage. Steven Seagal is...The Final Option.

So as Steven "Hard to Kill" Seagal, you infiltrated a base and chopsokeyed anyone dumb enough to try to beat you.  While the pre-rendered images where nice enough, they wern't good enough for the bonebreaking aikido holds and locks Steven was known before being known mostly for needing a stunt double to walk across  a door.

And for whatever reason the game came under siege. It probably wasn't all that hard to kill. It was already on deadly ground by being a Steven Seagal game, but the developers found themselves in the belly of the beast. The game might have been half past dead, but for whatever reason the rom found it's way to the public. If you want to play the game, well, that is your final option.


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