Catwoman's Cancelled Movie, De-scripted! at 11:30 AM

Catwoman, uncharacteristically freeing a pair of puppies.

This has been a long time coming, but the first in my four part series of Videoblogs describing the script from a Catwoman movie that never was. Click and watch.Watch and like. Like and Subscribe!

It took me a bit of time to get the whole thing together, including  going through as much as 3 microphones,  and it was basically a year. This one was recorded with microphone 2, so it's going to be a bit lower in quality compared to the upcoming episodes.

In this episode, Catwoman goes to a town just outside Gotham and finds Superheroes you'll never ever guess! But anyway, let me leave you with a teaser.

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Negative Nancy: The TOP 5 Most Misoginist games of the year! at 3:42 PM

I don't have opinions. I AM OPINIONS

(In order to be more hip with the kids today, I intend to bring you  more socially conscious messages, under the lable Nega Nancy)


The year isn't over, but I'm already pretty sure what the most sexist games are gonna be this year. Remember that just because something is DAMAGING TO THE PSYCHE and A STEP BACK INTO THE MIDDLE AGES doesn't mean you can't like it. You horrible person.


Remember some of these games might be not even be out yet, but It's still sexist because I say so.

5: Shift Stick

 Oh, what? This game decided that a man would rather fuck a car than a woman? I take this as a statement on all cars, all men and all women. The Statement is women are objects, just objects that are not currently present at the screen. Typical Cis male thoughts, no doubt...

4: Mortal Kombat X

Mortal Kombat THINKS it can get into my good graces by limiting the amount of sinflesh it is showing compared to previous outings. But sadly, the reduced sensuality is in this case is just troubling. The game is clearly trying to say that a woman can't be sexy, can't be sexual, and still strong and powerful. I mean, I can say that, and it's not troubling, but they can't implicitly say that, even under my advice.

3)Grim Fandango: Remastered

Grim Fandango is a  point and click adventure game, and as phallic as that is, we're not even at the core complaint, yet: They remastered the game, and did not take time to allow for a female playable Manny Calavera.  They had  more than a decade to make a female Manny Calavera, and DID NOT. Pass.

2) Metal Slug


This game either includes women as playable characters and enemies or doesn't. You know it's sexist either way.

1)Kaio: King of Pirates


I admit to a bit of a double standard.  Catfight might be less sexist than Street Fighter in certain respects, but Catfight is also super shitty, so I'd rather pile on it for being sexist as well. Quality can distract me from that kind of complaint.

So Kaio King of the Pirates is a game that was cancelled. That's worst that it having it been released, so, ergo, the game is the most sexist game of the year. Got it? Good.

What do you remember of the year 2000? I remember watching Scary Movie and regretting it,  Shouting to Papa Roach on the radiom, and joining an online forume called Scruffy Dragon. Despite what the name might suggest, it was a forum dedicated to M.U.G.E.N. projects. Using a borderline stolen fighting game engine, this  rag tag group of fans where working on a great endeavor: Marvel vs DC.  By coopting the Capcom Sprites for Marvel characters, half of the animation job seems to have been done for them. But to get the DC, other, or the same, sprites had to be altered, in a process called "Frankenspriting." The project continued, with no end in sight.  Years passed. 2 years. 5 years. 10 years. The project moved steadilly, and with ever ambitious choices for it, and terms like "phases" thrown in for good measure. I'd have waited forever for  such a game, and seems I might as well wait forever. I'd read about it, download the stages, but I can't say I'd played Marvel vs DC.

Last year I went on la little  bit about Friendship Is Fighting, the  fan game that carries on into the bizarre phenomenom that  has enraptured thousands of grown ass men to   a show for girls about ponies. Including me, I guess.  Since then  a small beta test has leaked. This also would sometimes happen at Scruffydragons, and the drama would quickly escalate into long threads filled with accusations.But I can say I played FiF, if only against a stationary player 2.

So, here's this: I want to tip my hat to Mane 6, for not taking 10 years to make a fangame. It is to your credit that this game, in the time it's taken, is already ridiculously good. The presentation is great and consitent, the graphics are beautiful and the animations are fluid, and I suspect your levels of dedication are key to this. I don't know how you that last part, though I suspect tracing of actual animations. If a group of dedicated people can get together to create soimething like this, who knows what else could be done?

This is what I had written before I found out Hasbro sent cease and desist orders to Mane 6. I guess, in a way, we all knew this was one of the possibilities. I would recomend continued, secret work on it, followed by a leak. 

What do you remember of the year 2000? I remember watching Scary Movie and regretting it,  Shouting to Papa Roach on the radiom, and joining an online forume called Scruffy Dragon. Despite what the name might suggest, it was a forum dedicated to M.U.G.E.N. projects. Using a borderline stolen fighting game engine, this  rag tag group of fans where working on a great endeavor: Marvel vs DC.  By coopting the Capcom Sprites for Marvel characters, half of the animation job seems to have been done for them. But to get the DC, other, or the same, sprites had to be altered, in a process called "Frankenspriting." The project continued, with no end in sight.  Years passed. 2 years. 5 years. 10 years. The project moved steadilly, and with ever ambitious choices for it, and terms like "phases" thrown in for good measure. I'd have waited forever for  such a game, and seems I might as well wait forever. I'd read about it, download the stages, but I can't say I'd played Marvel vs DC.

Last year I went on la little  bit about Friendship Is Fighting, the  fan game that carries on into the bizarre phenomenom that  has enraptured thousands of grown ass men to   a show for girls about ponies. Including me, I guess.  Since then  a small beta test has leaked. This also would sometimes happen at Scruffydragons, and the drama would quickly escalate into long threads filled with accusations.But I can say I played FiF, if only against a stationary player 2.

So, here's this: I want to tip my hat to Mane 6, for not taking 10 years to make a fangame. It is to your credit that this game, in the time it's taken, is already ridiculously good. The presentation is great and consitent, the graphics are beautiful and the animations are fluid, and I suspect your levels of dedication are key to this. I don't know how you that last part, though I suspect tracing of actual animations. If a group of dedicated people can get together to create soimething like this, who knows what else could be done?

This is what I had written before I found out Hasbro sent cease and desist orders to Mane 6. I guess, in a way, we all knew this was one of the possibilities. I would recomend continued, secret work on it, followed by a leak. 

6 Videogame movies that didn't live to be bad at 8:57 AM

Not how animation is directed.

Folks, the track record of videogame adaptations is a subject we're all painfully aware off. But making a movie isn't easy. It takes money, which you get on loan from movie execs who want to make their money, too, and  if they give you the cash, they want to make sure you do it "right". Right is...something they aren't often good as.

Like in the Movies! Remember that? No? Only me, huh? How about Freedom Force?

Due to this nature of the film industry, many planned films never get made, even if rights to  franchise are acquired, or if actors are attached to contracts or if a film is already half made. A movie has to clear technical hurdles, budget issues, scheduling issues, and simple petty behavior from above before they can get to the silver screens as it is more practical to cancel a movie than to try and fix it as it goes. Video Game movies are not exempt from this, which you might disagree with when you see drek like Bloodrayne 3 sneak itself on unsuspecting ...are there still videostores? Regardless, here are some  videogame movies that never existed, so we can't know how much they sucked.

Fear Effect

A magazine!  Wow, this was a long time ago.

This game  series  was known for titillating "Mature" content, cardio based health system and because it had an early version of the Mass Effect options, if only to open your towel.

Wow! Shake those polygons!

However, shadow-over-the-land Uwe Boll got the rights to Fear Effect  with the promise of getting the rights to Hitman if he bought the first. However, he dropped the film when the promise of rights to Hitman never  materialized.  Which is for the best, because if a franchise isn't good enough to unload on The Boll, I don't want to see what mangled remain of a film he would have made.



Duke Nukem

Tits-reference-tits

Back in 2001, before Duke Nukem made jokes instead of being one,  someone actually got the rights to do a movie based on the square jawed enemy of Captain Planet ersatz action hero setting it in a PG 13 range.

However, unlike the game, we know better than to expect the product to be released over a decade later. during the 10 years that ensued, they probably lost the rights .  Your best for a Duke Nukem film is just to watch They Live, Evil Dead, and Fifth Element while huffing paint. Don't worry, you'll come up with Duke Nukem eventually.


Perfect Dark

Out of the way! Trying to read the title, here!

It is true: the game adaptation of N64 and Xbox spy series  was underway many gears ago, when the rights where acquired. However, not much was heard since from the cinematical adventures of Joanna Dark. Isn't  it weird how videogames have that many more female leads than movies?


Soul Calibur

Heh. I guess my photoshop skills WHERE bad.

The cancelled Soul Calibur film that was supposed to be  released a couple of years ago never resurfaced. Rumors of a plot involving twins fighting against an evil prince and also of the movie starring  Isabella "Ivy" Valentine alias "Growing Up Ivy".

Personally, as much as I would relish some Samurai vs Knight action, I wonder  how much of a stretch it is to find a guy who can do it proper. If they can't do Tekken right, I don't think they should touch Soul Calibur.

Metal Gear

Well, did you snake or not?

The stealth game/cutscene  delivery system is known for it's cinematic flair, so it's not surprising they eventually tried to work it into a movie. But Snake's voice David Hayter, who worked on the script confirmed the movie got stuck on the way.  Which... well, he wrote this too, so maybe it's better if he don't.

Call of Duty: 3 Bar combat

Call of Duty
Defying all  logic, Activision filed a trademark which sparked rumors of a Call of Duty movie. Which...really? Are you so desperate to have name recognition that you need to name your  war movies after games.  Thankfully, this dreadful idea has been MIA for quite some time.

6 Videogame movies that didn't live to be bad at 8:57 AM

Not how animation is directed.

Folks, the track record of videogame adaptations is a subject we're all painfully aware off. But making a movie isn't easy. It takes money, which you get on loan from movie execs who want to make their money, too, and  if they give you the cash, they want to make sure you do it "right". Right is...something they aren't often good as.

Like in the Movies! Remember that? No? Only me, huh? How about Freedom Force?

Due to this nature of the film industry, many planned films never get made, even if rights to  franchise are acquired, or if actors are attached to contracts or if a film is already half made. A movie has to clear technical hurdles, budget issues, scheduling issues, and simple petty behavior from above before they can get to the silver screens as it is more practical to cancel a movie than to try and fix it as it goes. Video Game movies are not exempt from this, which you might disagree with when you see drek like Bloodrayne 3 sneak itself on unsuspecting ...are there still videostores? Regardless, here are some  videogame movies that never existed, so we can't know how much they sucked.

Fear Effect

A magazine!  Wow, this was a long time ago.

This game  series  was known for titillating "Mature" content, cardio based health system and because it had an early version of the Mass Effect options, if only to open your towel.

Wow! Shake those polygons!

However, shadow-over-the-land Uwe Boll got the rights to Fear Effect  with the promise of getting the rights to Hitman if he bought the first. However, he dropped the film when the promise of rights to Hitman never  materialized.  Which is for the best, because if a franchise isn't good enough to unload on The Boll, I don't want to see what mangled remain of a film he would have made.