Best Geek Ever!: capcom

Showing posts with label capcom. Show all posts

A Spiritual Sequel to Marvel Vs Capcom? Yes!

Wherein I outline the secret plot to out-Mahvel Capcom!

The 7 games in the Street Fighter series Capcom wants you to forget

Street. Fighter. 5. For a few years there, it felt like the series was never going to move beyond 2, but boy oh boy, has time flown while kicking and spinning in place.

It's kind of amazing that the granddaddy of modern fighters is only five games old. After all, later serieses like Mortal Kombat, Tekken and Soul Calibur are looking at 10, 7 and 6 entries.

I guess you could say Capcom prefers quality over quantity. But it'd be more accurate to say it's easier to make a bunch of bad games, then produce some new shotos and everyone will forget. Here's the five games you can fondly look back on and say "yep, them sure was bad times."

Street Fighter

Dropping the Mike.

It's kind of hard to fault the original SF for being a shitty fighting game, because a lot of what made fighting games non shitty did not yet exist or was very hard to do. In fact, the game was originally controlled by punching it, which means it actively counted on your hate.

But it's on this list, because in it's anniversary, Capcom released a big box of filled with pretty much every game, anime and movie based on Street Fighter BUT Street Fighter. That's a sad way to spend a birthday.

　

　

　

Street Fighter Movie

THE ONLY FIGHT IN THE GAME.

No, not Street Fighter THE movie( The Game...see below). Street Fighter Movie is an FMV game with some fighting game frosting, based on The Anime of Street Fighter 2. You play the role of a robot quietly stalking fighters and learning their moves, and near the end you can have a fight with Ryu.

So, you know, the next time they give Chun Li her own movie, remember that they gave a generic robot from the anime a game all to himself, and that's more solo game that they ever gave Ryu or Guile.

Street Fighter Mouse Generation

Why, yes, that IS Barrack Obama. It was...it was a weird time. Liking an American President hadn't been easy in 8 years and...

Sometimes I play fighting games on a keyboard, okay? Sometimes you can't wait of your arcade sticks arrive to take your MUGEN for a spin.

But a few years ago, Capcom tried for something even less good, with Mouse Generation. The game, playable online, had you do motions with the mouse.

It also had a feature to swap the parts of the characters, so you could put Chun Li's legs to Bison's torso, creating presumably a self hating abomination.

You could also swap body parts with characters from anime like Cyborg 009 and fish and shit. And now you can't, because it's offline.

　

Street Fighter Ex

I...mean to high five you ! It's not my fault my hands are blocky Hulk gloves!

Street Fighter 4 is considered the serie's entry point into the 3rd dimension. After all, we all remember Street Fighter 3's beautiful 2d sprites.

However that's because most fans tend to outright ignore Ex, a fighting game that awkwardly bumbled the series into the poligonal world of the Playstations 1 and 2.

For 2 games(or 3? Is Ex + Alpha it's own game?), the series had the classic fighters in a morose, endingless, floaty mess of a game. In the end Arika, who developed the game for Capcom, went it's way and took every character they made for it.

Street Fighter the Movie

No.

When you do a big movie you do a tie in game. But what if the source material IS a game? Then you leave it alone.

Hell naw! You make a game of the movie anyway! And so, since Street Fighter the movie was based on a precise fighting game, the one that set the bar, naturally they got the developers of unplayable mess Time Killers to handle the game. That's like getting M Knigt Shyamalan to direct Star Wars. The fact he's directed stuff before is evidence only to him being wrong for it.

The gameplay is the worst of any Street Fighter until you can prove you played Mouse Generation. An infinite can be a simple as "hurricane kick then dragon punch."

　

Streef Fighter The Movie also takes a cue from Mortal Kombat, with digitized sprites (that's fancy talk for "photographed images")of the cast that was willing/alive. It doesn't feel like playing the movie, though. It feels like somebody vomited Mortal Kombat all over my Street fighter.

Street Fighter 2 Tiger Handheld

WHERE'S SAGAT? HE'D LOVE THIS!

Swift strategy, multiple characters, excellent music...this and many more elements that made Street Fighter 2 a success where completely absent from the Tiger handheld .

For those who were born after the towers fell, Tiger handheld machine were basically as powerful as calculators, and their games just as fun. For around 20 dollars, you could get this individual games, and while there were many original games, many were licensed franchises.

So obviously, you slap a Street Fighter sticker in a that sucker and you cash in. For those who didn't buy a console, didn't ever see the inside of an arcade, and whose parents couldn't tell the difference between Mortal Kombat and Myst, this might have been their first "taste" of Street Fighter.

Marvel Super Heroes vs Street Fighter

Cylsim forever! <3 br="">

Okay, hear me out. I'm not saying this game is BAAAAD bad. Just...

You know, X-Men vs Street Fighter was a pretty cool game. It was Street Fighter's first real crossover game, and kicked off the Vs series, of which Tatsunoko, Tekken, and Snk saw entries.

And most importantly, each game in the vs Marvel series had new characters that hadn't been Sprites for other games. Obviously XvSF had Rogue and Sabertooth and Cammy and Guile, Marvel vs Capcom had Venom and Captain Commando, Mvc 2 had The Cactus Guy and Cable.

But MvsSF suffered from a bad case of not giving a fuck, so it had none inherently new characters, unless you think putting a coat of dark on Sakura makes her a "new" character. In fact, it has the same final boss, with a somehow robotier Akuma as dressing.

　

So while I'm sure it's a perfectly playable entry into the versus series, in a RELATIVE way, compared to other games in the series, it FUCKIN SUCKS!

You may have noticed 7 is larger than 5, which may indicate Street Fighter has more misses than hits. So I want to be fair : there's been a fair amount of non-numbered entries that have been fairly good, such as the Alpha series. And most of these games are better than, say, getting punched in the asshole(Not YOU, Sf1 and SF The Movie! Sit down.). In the end, we love Street Fighter, even if one fourth of the cast is Ryu with a different head and the vanilla versions become outdated in 6 months. Even if our favorite characters, haven't been seen in close to two decades. We wouldn't care if Sf made a bad game only if we did care about SF at all.

　

　

The Capcom Timeline

at 11:42 AM

Now, to sing us their latest hit "Rwooorwooo"...CAT FEVER!

What will come of the future? I used to think it would be as presented in fiction that was older than me: Flying cars, Flying backpacks and silver pleather tights. Then I thought it'd be a charred husk of desert where we survive until roaming gangs find us. I've since learned that the future is never what we expect. Amazing people work in things we don't imagine, evil people plan things we don't want to imagine, and silver pleather is never gonna be in style.

However, that doesn't mean that we can't look at fiction for a peek at what could be. For example...what if every Capcom game set on the future happened in a single timeline? What would our sons and daughters have to look forward to on it?

I mean, after all, the characters of Capcom games often intermix and coexist. Street Fighter and Final Fight share a universe. Chun Li(or a Chun Li looking Robot) shows up in Megaman 9. Jin from Cyberbots shows up un Tech Romancer. If it's all true, then let's see if it all fits.

First, a little Background...

Street Fighter 2-3 (1980s and 90s)

Terrorist leader M.Bison unsuccessfully tries to use martial arts contests to rule the world(should I even say it? I mean, it IS his quote). Bicolor Messianic cult leader Gill also attempts the same.

Bush Sr is a charge character, too.

Final Fight (1980s and 90s)

Gang violence erupts in Metro City, prompting several skirmishes between a small group of vigilantes and the gang members.

Resident Evil- 1998

A viral outbreak in Racoon city leads to the nuclear annihilation of it. Sporadic outbreaks take place after that.

Onimusha 3-1592 and 2004

Time traveling demons invade France, pissing of Jean Reno real bad.

Resident Evil 5-2009

The mastermind behind the viral outbreaks in Racoon City is finally delivered the kind of justice only Lava and rocket launchers can make.

Dino Crisis-2009

Paramilitary forces storm Ibis island, where they enter in contact with dinosaurs. By "come in contact with", I mean, "mostly get eaten by".

Street Fighter 2010: The Final Fight-2010

Learned the gene splice from Cyclops.

Genetically engineered entity ravages several whole planets and mutates their populace until stopped by martial artist/scientist Ken Masters.

It goes without saying from here on up things did not come to pass.

Phoenix Wright- 2016

Two years after the increase in crime has lead to a complete subversion of how the justice system works and pretty much set human rights back decades, it's clear the system is here to stay.

Captain Commando-2026

The de-evolution of human rights and the increase in crime has finally lead to a baby in a robot suit punching people being not illegal in any way

.

Megaman: 200X-20XX(Between the year 2000 and the year 2099. It obviously did not happen while you was watching the second X-Men movie)

Seriously, somebody shoot Dr Willy.

Concern is raised when the advanced robotic technology that has become standard is being abused by criminals.

Battle Circuit- 20XX(Between the year 2010 and the year 2099. It obviously did not happen while you was watching the X-Men Prequel)

A group of mercenaries become engaged in unconventional warfare with an intergalactic gang for control of weapons of mass destruction. One of said mercenaries is a little girl in an ostrich that has an eyepatch.

Strider-2048

If you point out that this isn't that specific Grandmaster, I will murder you in your sleep.

Mysterious Posthuman dictator "the Grandmaster" takes over the earth, until assassinated by Strider Hiryu.

Cyberbots: Full Metal Madness- Near the end of the 21rst Century(Let's say from 2080-2099)

Pangalactic empire faces scandal involving using children as energy, which created huge negative feedback of the "giants mechs punching each other" variety.

Yeah, yeah, children into energy. I just want to know what your stance is on gay marriage.

Tech Romancer- ("The Far Future." Not so far that Jin Saotome from Cyberbots can't show up. Though who knows how long people of his time live?)

An alien invasion generates skirmishes among mech pilots.

Steel Battalion- Heavy Armor-2082

Computers have stopped existing, probably as backlash for the whole "children as energy" shit. Also, there was a sever drought in creative mech design. Probably on account of the Mech centric city stompings in Cyberbots and Tech Romancer.

Megaman X: 21XX(A Hundred years after Megaman Uno. I.E. From 2100 to 2199)

Self aware machines initiate revolt against humanity.

Seriously, Boomerant. That's what he oughta be called.

Star Gladiator: -2348

Pangalactic Empire of one Bad Darth Vader clone falls.

Plasma Sword: Nightmare of Bilstein -2349

Pangalactic Empire strikes back with Ghost Darth Vader clone in tow.

Dino Crisis 3-2548

Clearly Jurassic Park AND 2001: A Space Odyssey have been forgotten, because some jerk scientists have decided to put their Jurassic Park inside their Rogue A.I. space station.

Megaman Legends-80XX

The earth is now mostly flooded and whether the people left in it are traditional humans is anyone's guess. I warned you guys abut the space dinos!